


It's lonely down here, Lycomedes

by Leviathan_Wizard



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, After the 6th of January, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Betrayal, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Philza's A+ parenting, Platonic Cuddling, Post-Betrayal, Protective Toby Smith | Tubbo, Protective TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Psychological Trauma, Running Away, Touch-Starved, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, a bit - Freeform, basically i wanted them to communicate and shout even more at each other, c!phil is on thin ice here, just a bit, no beta we die like Tubbo on the fesitval, so ye, they're a bit of a bamf, this is very self-indulgent ngl, ur honor they're platonic soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:41:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28650693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leviathan_Wizard/pseuds/Leviathan_Wizard
Summary: "Why...why did u do it?""You betrayed Techno, Tommy! You sided with the government that executed him and kept me locked up!""So you decided on abandoning your other son because, obviously, Techno is the better choice. I was never your priority was I? I wasn't even your second or third or fucking fourth. Why? Because I was never good enough at fighting? Because I was never good enough with my words? Because I wasn't willing to destroy the only thing I had left of Wilbur?"OrTommy and Tubbo decide to ran away after the events of January 6.
Relationships: Cara | CaptainPuffy & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Cara | CaptainPuffy & TommyInnit, Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sam | Awesamdude & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sam | Awesamdude & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, its all platonic - Relationship
Comments: 194
Kudos: 1931





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So i wanted these characters to have more communication and character development cuz my god do they talk over each other and ignore parts of what happened in the canon story. 
> 
> Anyways there will be more angst/fluff in the future so lezgooo

The scent of gunpowder never left Tommy. It followed him everywhere. Ever since Pogtopia, ever since Wilbur went insane, ever since Techno used fireworks as his weapon, ever since Dream blew up his items. But now...it was everywhere. A large smoking crater where you can see the bedrock was in place of L’mangurg, his _ home _ . It just started raining as soon as the battle was done but the three gods who caused it had already fled the scene.

  


He could still hear the ringing in his ear, the white noise as static as ever. Thunder flashed through the sky making Tommy flinch. Even the light tap of water droplets didn’t escape Tommy’s notice. He knows he’s severely injured, probably concussed by the amount of times he fell through the crater or got slammed by the explosions from the Withers and TNT, but Tommy didn’t care. 

  


He lost most of his armour and weapons during the battle. The axe of peace escaped his hold, it was probably destroyed in the fray either by a wither or TNT, Tommy’s not sure. But what Tommy is sure of is that L’manburg is  _ gone _ ...A lump is forcing its way through Tommy’s throat. He wanted to scream, to shout that this was all  _ unfair _ . 

  


He didn’t even realize the white knuckled clench of his fist till he felt someone touch his shoulder. His fight or flight instinct kicking in, thinking it could be Dream or Techno deciding blowing up L’manburg wasn’t enough. As he was about to raise his fist, it was just- Oh...Tubbo. 

  


He looked so tired. 

  


“Tommy, we have to go.” 

  


Yet, he couldn’t register anything in his mind. Still a blank static while it rained upon them. Tommy’s aware enough that Tubbo was leading him somewhere but he couldn’t see anything past the TNT raining above them while Dream was happily observing, past the withers that Phil summoned, past Techno screaming at him with a firework directed at him and Tubbo and-

  


It’s suddenly cold. His whole body is shivering. And Tubbo’s gone. Tubbo’s _ gone _ . No. nononoo- 

  


“Tubbo!” He screamed and screamed till he could feel his throat scratching at him, his body fighting against him. The static in his head started  _ screeching _ . Ender, why does everything hurt? 

  


He heard a fast but light thumps on the floor and Tubbo was there, right in front of him. Clutching him, despite his body burning from the inside and out. He felt a hand caress his locks, it was gentle enough that it didn’t hurt but that’s what it took for everything to go quiet. 

  


He recognizes the familiar brown walls, a large chest and a furnace that he proudly set up before. It's his house, a dirt shack really but _still_ it’s his house. It feels like a million years ago since he was here. At least he’s sitting on a bed this time instead of the hard ground. 

  


He feels a light tap of Tubbo’s finger on his back where his other arm was placed, bringing his attention back to him. “Are you alright enough that you can let go?” 

  


Honestly, he didn’t want to let go but they were both injured. The white noise was still there but it’s smaller. After a few huffs from Tommy, he reluctantly let go of his tight grip on Tubbo. 

  


He can clearly see his friend now. He could see so many bruises, bleeding wounds scattered across his body, and...oh Ender, the burn marks are worse than last time his best friend (are they still friends?) was shot at with a firework. 

  


He saw a small metal box right beside the bed as Tubbo opened it, grabbing gauzes, various ointments, and potions. He remembered that box, it’s the very same one that Tubbo used to heal the soldiers of L’manburg; way back during the first ever war they had for L’manburg. Huh. Tubbo got to work quietly. He patched up the small cuts that were littered across Tommy, splashed a potion (probably a regen pot) on wounds that were too deep, but lastly he put ointments on the burn marks that he got from the fireworks. He’d rather not think of who’s fireworks, it’s still...painful. 

  


He felt something cold and sticky on his arm as Tubbo spreaded the ointment (is that honey?) on his burn marks. It’s soothing. He wonders how Tubbo could calmly do this, he’s probably the most injured of the two. 

  


“...Tubbo?” His voice is hoarse from all the screaming he did. 

  


Tubbo let out a hum, acknowledging Tommy while he worked on the injuries. 

  


“Why are you doing this?” Shouldn’t Tubbo hate him? Why isn’t he mad at him? Why isn’t he screaming at him to fuck off? He failed on saving L’manburg so why does Tubbo still  _ care _ . whywhywhywhy-

  


“-cause you’re hurt” Tubbo’s eyes pierced right through him. His eyes were always a shade of bright blue, it reminded him of the sky. But now, it was dampened (like the sky of L’manburg because of all the  _ smoke _ -) yet he could still see the honesty and loyalty that Tubbo never failed to shine through him. 

  


“Aren’t you hurt as well?” 

  


“Yeah, but I drank the regen pot,” Tubbo says in an even voice, “Well, i drink a bit cus’ you still need some of it and y’know I’m not exactly the richest person here.” Tubbo’s attempt to lighten the mood seemed to work as Tommy let out a snort and Tubbo chuckled. 

  


“Yeah...that’s fair,” Tommy promptly said, though it still nagged him that Tubbo is basically wasting most of his resources on him. “You’re still hurt though.”

  


Tubbo sighed, “I’ll take care of my injuries once I finish with yours.” 

“Y’know you should probably stop giving me all your stuff.”

  


Tubbo moved again to the box beside him, grabbing more gauzes. “And yet, here we are.” 

  


If anything, that made Tommy even more insistent on Tubbo healing himself with whatever supply he has left. Tubbo getting more and more frustrated with Tommy purposely moving and shifting. 

  


“If you continue on being an asshole, then i’ll dump you back in the rain.” 

  


Tommy’s eyes narrowed, “You wouldn’t.”

  


Tubbo stared back at him, “Try me.” 

  


They were both trying to look serious but they both noticed the other’s mouths quirking up. Not being able to keep it in, they both burst with laughter. Tubbo clutching the bed while Tommy wheezed. It’s been a while since they’ve been like this. It felt warm, for once. 

  


“This is ridiculous,” Tubbo said with a bright smile on his face, yet continued to check on Tommy’s injuries. 

  


“You’re ridiculous,” Tommy said flickering his finger on Tubbo’s forehead. 

  


Tubbo let out a small “ow,” glaring at Tommy, “That hurt...and here i thought you finally cared about me.” Tubbo intended that line to be more lighthearted but that instantly made Tommy freeze up. All the warmth seemed to sap out of his body. Ah,  _ fuck _ . 

  


“Tommy-”

  


“Tubbo-”

  


They both quickly shut their mouths. They needed talk...but it’s clear they both weren’t ready yet. 

  


Tubbo was the first one to break the silence, “Well, it seems like i patched up most of your injuries. All you need now is to rest.” 

  


Tubbo stood up, already picking up the things he brought and putting it meticulously in the box. Before Tubbo left, it almost felt like it was his instincts that made Tommy grab the singed sleeve of the former president. 

  


Tubbo had his eyebrows quirked, questioning him. 

  


“...you’ll still be here right?”

  


Tubbo was silent for a moment and that alone made Tommy scared. Scared that he’ll go back to being lonely, on being  _ exiled _ . Where everyone either forgot him or hated him. The static noise started to ramp up in Tommy’s head. No he can’t go back. He can’t he can’t he can’t- 

  


He suddenly felt a hand touch his arm and that alone made the noise go quiet. 

  


“Don’t worry big man, I’ll be here.” 

  


Tommy’s whole body felt like it could slump over by the overwhelming relief he felt from that sentence. A wave of tiredness and exhaustion crashed unto him. It was a familiar feeling but, at least for now, he can rest easy. Because Tubbo’s with him. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy just can't catch a break, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this chapter took a while :'))
> 
> It was my exam and project week so i didn't have much time to work on it but it's finally here!!
> 
> Also i am so sorry if there's any grammar or spelling mistakes. I was writing this when i was high on sleep depravation. 
> 
> Anyways enjoy!!

Tommy felt light cascade on his face. He groaned. Ender, it’s too early. 

It’s been a few days since Tubbo confined him to this godforsaken bed. He groaned, again. Though, he did remember the first time he tried getting out of bed. Blinding white pain shot through Tommy’s body. Still, that didn’t stop him from trying to leave the bed anytime he could. Tubbo got mad, obviously.

_ ‘I swear to Ender, Tommy, I'll put an anvil on top of you if it makes you stop leaving the bed.’  _

Tommy scoffed but there was a glint in Tubbo’s eyes, showing that he was serious. Tommy didn’t try after. Only when Tubbo’s off somewhere, doing  _ something _ . And he was gone for quite a while. It irked ~~worried~~ Tommy that Tubbo’s been going around doing whatever Tubbo does but he wasn't allowed to get out of bed. Tommy would actually be annoyed if Tubbo didn’t always seem calmer everytime he got home. Tommy snorts,  _ home _ . That thought shouldn’t have made him feel giddy. 

Though, Tubbo still hasn’t revealed what he was doing. Only that it was a “surprise.” 

Whatever, he’ll find out soon anyway. 

Now, he’s currently alone. In the dirt shack of a home that he made so many years ago. With no Tubbo in sight. 

And with no Tubbo in sight, he’s determined to get out of this fucking bed. Tommy swung his legs and instantly his whole body ached. Every limb he has felt sore and it’s a bitch. Whatever muscle he seemed to gain was attacked by invisible pins and needles, but other than that he felt fine. Well...fine enough that his whole body doesn’t constantly feel like it’s on fire. At least the loud ringing in his head was gone. He could handle soreness. But he _needed_ to go out, and he did. 

He pushed open the door and got hit with a splash of sunshine. He sees the abandoned house his friend made before, the small carrot farm beside his home, and the prime path! He takes in a deep breath. God, he missed this. It’s been a while since he walked on the path, and now he can finally walk on it freely!

He was about to go off to search for Tubbo but something nagged in his head. He looked over the bridge that connected his house to L’manburg...he hasn’t seen it ever since the war — no, since doomsday. 

Should he visit it? He’s not sure.

Was he even ready? What if he’s never read-

No. He’s a big enough man to pay respect to L’manburg, the first place he has ever felt safe. 

With a final shaky sigh, he’s off. He hopes Tubbo wouldn’t be that mad at him for leaving his bed. 

\-----

It was a blur. Doomsday felt like a blur. It was a dark, stormy night, yet he remembered the TNT setting off, the withers destroying everything on sight, and the bedrock at the very bottom. Yet in the broad daylight, the reality of everything crashed on Tommy. L’manburg is now a ruin. He couldn’t even recognize anything in the small land they called home. Not the podium, not the houses, and not the drug van. Yet everything else was still in place. 

Tommy sat on the very cliff of L’manburg. His legs swinging. The scent of gunpowder is as potent as ever. Tommy wanted to vomit but he couldn't make himself move.

It’s such a familiar scene for him to be up so high but wanting to fall to the very bottom. At least this time, Dream isn’t here to stop him...Could he- No. He won’t let that green bastard have the last say when he dies. 

Tommy sighs, unclenching his fist that he didn’t even notice was clenched. It was still a depressing sight. Maybe there was still a chance to rebuild it? No. Technoblade would just destroy it again...fuck him. Fuck his stupid face, fuck his house that was in the middle of nowhere, fuck his monotone ass that would always tease Tommy, fuck the gifts that Techno has given him, fuck his warm cloak that Techno would drape on him, fuck-

Something lodged on his throat, felt the pinpricks of tears- No, he’s not gonna cry. Not over fucking Techno of all people. 

He tucks himself in, hiding his face on the crook of arms. It feels so cold. 

“Tommy?” 

He jumped in his place at the sudden voice, almost falling off the ledge. He turned around in an instant. It’s Phil...still wearing the similar uniform that Techno wears. Of fucking course. 

Tommy turns back to facing the crater. It honestly hurts to look at Phil, his  _ dad _ . Seeing such glee at the destruction and chaos he caused on L’manburg. He can’t face him. Not yet. 

“...What are you doing here?” He refuses to let his voice tremble, especially in front of Phil. 

“Mate, why are you sitting there?” Concern laced in Phil’s voice. 

What fucking bullshit. 

It was silent for a while with nothing but the breeze and soft animal noises in the distance. Yet, Phil’s still there. Honestly, Tommy’s surprised Phil hasn’t left already. He always left him so why bother staying now?

But there was still that nagging feeling. The static ringing through his head puts more pressure on his aching body and head. It wants to shout and scream:  _ why _ . He had to know. He  _ needs _ to know. 

He takes a big breath of air and promptly releases. “Why...why did u do it?” 

“Tommy…” He recognized that tone, it’s the tone that he used to scold them as kids. He hasn’t been a kid since years now. Not since the first war. 

“Just,” Tommy couldn’t speak; ender, how pathetic that he can’t even face his own  _ father,  _ “Why” 

“You betrayed Techno, Tommy,” he heard the careful steps of his father move closer, “You sided with the government that executed him and kept me locked up.” Phil said in a soft voice, that fucking _ im-the-parent-so-i-know-better  _ voice. Righteous anger coursed through Tommy. How fucking dare he. 

“So you sided with Dream. The fucking  _ bastard  _ that manipulated me! And for what?” He whipped his head around to glare at Phil. He has that soft look on his eyes. It pissed off Tommy even more. “To teach me a fucking lesson!? What was the lesson that I don't deserve a home? Friends? Family!?” 

Phil looks conflicted but he could see the hard set of his jawline. “You betrayed us, Tommy. You betrayed Technoblade to side with Tubbo, the person who exiled you! To side with the government that made me kill my own  _ son _ !”

“So you decided on abandoning your other son because,  _ obviously, _ Techno is the better choice,” he lets out a wet chuckle, “I was never your priority was I? I wasn't even your second or third or fucking fourth. Why?'' Tommy is standing up now, against his father while the breeze blows past him and into the crater of L’manburg. Reminding him how far down the hole was. “Because I was never good enough at fighting? Because I was never good enough with my words? Because I wasn't willing to destroy the only thing I had left of Wilbur!?”

“Tom-” Phil reaches out but Tommy immediately smacks it away. 

“Phil, why…,” Tommy’s voice cracked into broken whispers, “...I sacrificed everything for L'manburg. I gave up my  _ discs _ for L'manburg. I gave up my two lives for L'manburg. I never sided with the government Phil. It was my  _ home _ . Wilbur's home. L'manburg was the only thing that I had left of Wilbur…” Oh god,  _ Wilbur _ . Wilbur. Wilbur. He felt his knees immediately collapse. It's all gone. The one last good memory of his older brother just  _ gone.  _ Hot tears, finally falling from his face. The wet droplets falling on the soil, the land that he fondly called home so many years ago. 

“I'm so sorry.” Tommy said with a choked sob. He promised Wilbur he would protect L’manburg no matter what. And look at him, now. What a fuck up. What a _ failure _ ...maybe, Dream was right.

Suddenly, a hand was softly touching his shoulder but Tommy flinched away from Phil's touch. It used to be such a comforting feeling for Tommy — whether it was a tight hug, a proud pat on the back or a fond caress through his hair — but, now, it brought nothing but pain, fireworks, gunpowder, and blood. Hurt flashed through Phil’s face but immediately covered it under the neutral line of his mouth. Tommy relished in it, anyway. 

“...You’ll understand someday.”

With that, Tommy heard the flap of wings and gust of wind. 

\----

He slams the door to his house, despite how much his body is starting to ache. 

How fucking dare he. 

He walks over to his enderchest, rummaging through his stuff without a care. The discs that were given to him were there, some metals that he stored away, Wilbur’s trenchcoat still covered in dirt and had holes, Techno’s red sash that he would tie around his waist, and Phil’s friendship emerald. He brought it near to his face. Phil gave it to him that one time he visited. Out of the many where he willingly chose Techno over him. 

How fucking dare he!

Tommy throws the emerald with all the force he can muster. Tommy wants it to  _ shatter _ . To be as completely broken as he is. He sank to the floor, the feeling of numbness consuming him. Fuck, he’s tired. 

...How fucking dare he. 

Even with his body tired and sore, he still crawled to where the broken shards of the emerald lay. If he cradled it in his chest, then tucked it in so delicately in his enderchest that was his business. 

What he needs right now is to cut his goddamn hair. So, he starts to look through the chest for a scissor or, at this point, anything sharp. 

He’s so focused on his quest to look for one that he didn’t hear the door creak open. 

“What are you doing?” Tubbo’s voice rang through. 

“I need to cut my hair.” Still rummaging through, he can’t fucking find anything. What fucking luck. 

“Tommy what the- y’know what fine we can cut it later.” Tubbo let out a sigh filled with frustration. “Just stop for a moment.”

“No, I can't! Once I cut my fucking hair then I can fucking go fight for my discs back.” It’s all what he has left anyway. 

Tommy ignores Tubbo’s pinched expression to look through his other chests for a sharp object. “So we need to gather all the resources we need. Upgrade our armor-”

“Tommy, you need to stop-”

“Get better weapons. we-”

“Tommy!”

Tommy whirled his body in his anxious but angry fit, “Tubbo, the disc-”

“Tommy I'm tired of fighting! I'm tired of all these wars and bloodshed,” Tubbo has his hands gripping at his hair with so much force that Tommy’s almost worried that he might actually tear it out. “I'm tired of all of it!”

Tommy scoffs. “Don't you think I'm tired too?! I lost everything to Dream and now the discs are the only thing that matters!”

Silence rang through the room.  _ Fuck _ , not again. 

“...The only thing that matters?” Hurt was so evident on his best friend's face. 

“No- god,” Tommy groaned, covering his face with his hand in frustration, “I didn't mean it like that. Look, I'm sorry but let's start grabbing materials-”

“Tommy. No!” Tubbo, now, looks pissed. It wasn’t the same cold look he threw when he exiled Tommy but it was an expression that still strikes fear in him. He looks away, deciding to stay at his spot and glare at the offending floor. 

Tubbo grabs his shoulder in a tight hold, but not enough for it to hurt. “Look at me...Look at me damnit.”

He stays silent. Refusing to meet Tubbo’s gaze. 

“Me or the discs”

Wait, what. That was enough to snap his stupor and directly turn his attention back to Tubbo. Surely he misheard. But Tubbo looks determined.

“Me or the discs, Tommy”

No. nonono. “Tubbo you can't-”

“I fucking can! Tommy I've lost everything, I've lost my home and my friends...I can't lose you again.” With that, Tommy was crushed in a warm tight hug. His best friend’s whole body shaking while tears completely soaked his shoulder. But Tommy doesn’t hesitate for a single moment to equally pull Tubbo in a hug that’s as tight as possible. He doesn’t even notice his own tears falling till it blurred his vision. Touch and affection was the most scarce thing he craved in exile. Maybe that’s why the touch felt so  _ foreign _ yet so familiar.

At some point, they sank to the floor, still not letting the other go. Tommy could feel Tubbo’s heartbeat. A sharp reminder that it’s his last life.  _ Their _ last life. 

“…I'm scared, Tubbo.”

“Me too.”

“I've sacrificed everything for those discs.”

“I know...but we've lost so much more for those discs.”

Silence rang through the room once again but it’s accompanied by sniffles and labored breaths and sighs.

“...You'll still be here with me right?”

He felt Tubbo’s hand caress through his locks, he leans into it. “If you'll choose me.”

“Ok Tubbo...ok.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SELLOUT TIMERR
> 
> Follow my tumblr: terrible-ass-always.tumblr.com  
> Follow my twitter: @likeadabee


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therapy arc will commence soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so imma just ignore the fact that Snowchester is a cover up for Tubbo's nukes 
> 
> Also heads up that Snowchester in this fic is like really really far away compared to the canon. Cuz these bois need a break from everything. 
> 
> Once again, this isn't beta read so sorry for any grammar and spelling mistakes.
> 
> Enjoy!

So  _ this _ is what Tubbo has been working on. 

A small quaint house that’s on the front of a snowy bay. Tommy has been shivering ever since he got here, only adorning his classic red and white shirt, wrapped bandages on his limbs, and a green bandana that he sewn himself. He considered wearing Wilbur’s ratty jacket. But It feels wrong. Not to mention it reeked. 

Ender, why out of all the places Tubbo had to pick a _ snow _ biome. He almost regrets even coming here. He would’ve probably left If it weren’t for Tubbo’s shining eyes and excited exclaim,  _ “This is our new home: Snowchester!”  _

Tommy snorts at the name. Now, Tommy couldn’t say no to that, no matter how ridiculous the name is. (He ignores an achingly familiar soft voice in his head boisterously declaring: _ L’manburg, Pogtopia, Logstedshire!) _

Now, if only he isn’t freezing his  _ balls  _ off. He’s been sitting on the cold floor, waiting for Tubbo to grab any warm clothes he has in his basement. Honestly, the interior of the house is a bit underwhelming. It currently doesn’t have any furniture. A couple of torches and lanterns here and there were placed along the room. 

Tommy shivers as he blows unto his hands, rubbing it to produce heat. He tries to ignore how  _ familiar _ this whole experience is to when he stumbled upon Techno’s ~~the traitor’s~~ house, deranged and hungry and  _ cold _ , hiding not only from the piercing weather but also from Dream. Even the house is almost scarily similar. It’s good that the walls aren’t made out of white concrete. Ender, why did Tubbo have to pick a fucking  _ snow biome _ . 

He hears the trap door creak and Tubbo pops up. Finally. 

Tubbo is still wearing his president outfit, though in place of his suit jacket is a long brown jacket with a fluffy white outline. In his arms is a similar brown jacket. 

He shuts the trap door, walking closer to where Tommy is currently sitting. “Sorry that it took a while. I still haven’t got to organize my stuff here,” Tubbo said, promptly handing the jacket to him.

Tommy looks disdainful at the jacket but he begrudgingly puts it on anyway. Beggars can’t be choosers. Tommy’s learned that lesson so many times when he keeps losing his things to Dream, so Tommy can’t complain. 

“Did you make this?” He asks as he buttoned up the top half. Pulling at the sleeves to cover his hands as he blows unto it and rubs it again. The quality of the cloth rubbed harshly on Tommy’s skin, somehow it’s thin enough that he can still feel the cold but at least he won’t die from hypothermia anytime soon.

“Not really,” Tubbo sits down right beside him, a bone gnawing weariness seems to set in as he watches the snow fall outside the window, “I traded with a bunch of villagers a bit far off from here and got the cheapest one I could get.”

Tommy hums in acknowledgement. “Aren’t you great with knitting?” He still remembers how Niki was patient enough to teach both of them how to knit after they won their independence from Dream. Though, those lessons only stuck with Tubbo. Tommy, on the other hand, found it difficult to weave through so many loops of yarn and somehow make something out of it. Whatever. He stuck with sewing anyway. Not many people realize it, but he did help Wilbur with creating the L’manburg revolution outfits. 

Tubbo looks away guiltily, “Well, I was a bit busy. Y'know building this house and taking care of your wounds.”

Usually people would like to label Tommy as a brash and energetic kid — which is true — but there are times when they would label him as selfish. Which is why it’s a no-brainer that he didn’t hesitate in saying, “Guess I'll just make a better jacket then.” 

Tubbo somehow had the gall to look surprised by it, “Tommy, you don’t have to-”

“Tubbo, as much as this jacket is probably the only thing keeping me from freezing to death. It’s quite ugly.”

There was a pause in the air, but then Tubbo burst into laughter that was more or less hiccupping and wheezing. Tommy joins in with his own wheezes. It all seems warmer, now. 

Tubbo wipes a tear, a soft smile on his face. “Ok, Tommy.”

For once, he had the energy to smile back. “Whatever, man. If you have any string, needles, and cloth, I can definitely start working.” 

\----

A few days passed and they finally got some furniture and materials for Tommy to sew. A soft green cloth made out of the wool of sheeps that they happen to see in the area. 

From the cloth, he made a soft forest green green jacket that has a fluffy fur linen to it. Tommy honestly tried his best to hide it, even forcing Tubbo to go outside and do some work or an errand as long as Tubbo didn’t see the actual thing before he was even finished. But now it’s done and it was worth it, seeing Tubbo’s bright smile as he instantly wore it and a quiet “thank you” as he pulls on the thicker material of the sleeve to cover his hands. It’s a plain design but at least this jacket didn’t chafe on their skin compared to what Tubbo initially had, so Tommy’s proud of it. He even had enough wool for spare. Maybe he can turn it into yarn so Tubbo can start knitting again. 

He’s grateful that Phil taught all three of them at some point how to sew, spouting,  _ “It’s an essential skill like how sword fighting is an art,”  _ or some shit. Despite their whining, it did become useful so he’ll give credit to the old man. 

Tubbo’s now excitedly running around with his new jacket, couldn’t even contain his energy as he says, “Hey, can you grab water outside? I accidentally spilled the ones we have.” 

He didn’t even look guilty. Tommy agreed to it anyway. 

He walked over to their enderchest and grabbed Wilbur’s jacket (desperately ignoring the silk red sash and shattered emerald pieces beside it). Yeah, they technically had enough cloth to make another jacket but he couldn’t be bothered to make his own while he made Tubbo’s, so he resorted to cleaning and fixing Wilbur’s jacket. Patching up whatever holes it had, though the bottom half was burnt that he couldn’t even salvage it, so he had to cut it off mid way. Now the jacket is up to his hips. He prefers it that way. 

Which leads him to whatever he’s doing now. A bucket at his side, wearing Wilbur’s brown coat, looking into his reflection on the clear blue ice. 

His hair is longer. 

He recalled so many times, as a kid, where people would often say he looked like Phil. That comment always enraged Tommy ‘cause  _ he’s _ Tommy, not Techno, not Wilbur, especially not fucking  _ Phil _ . So he made it his mission to not only be the best that he’ll overshadow his family but to always have his hair short so he’ll be remembered as  _ himself _ . But exile...made his hair longer. Dream would never let him have anything, not even to cut his hair.

Though, his long hair did comfort him during exile as every time he saw his reflection on the water he was greeted by a familiar and comforting face (but why didn't he visit? _Whywhywhywhy-_ ). And when he stayed with Techno, Tommy reluctantly ~~happily~~ let Techno’s gentle fingers braid his hair, especially during a rough night. Maybe it wasn’t as magnificent and elegant as Techno's braid, but Techno braided it for him...so he was happy.

But now, his blood boils. Another fucking reminder of the betrayal, the _ faces _ that blew up L'manburg, his last connection to Wilbur.

He wants to quell the boiling lava that rages inside him. He wants to drown. So he does. 

Instantly, he was pulled out of the calm numbing coldness by Tubbo’s quick hands. His fearful expression that’s close to tears snapped something inside Tommy. He didn’t say anything as he got quietly led back to their house. It’s so cold. 

Tubbo wrapped him in every blanket and cloth they had. It’s suffocating but Tommy didn’t want Tubbo to have that fearful expression. Not when he could help it. 

He avoids all questions about what happened. 

He simply just asks if they could cut his hair. 

And they do.

\----

There were some days where everything seemed alright. They had a plan to build a farm. Tubbo wanted to make a dock and a greenhouse. Tommy wanted to make a cobblestone tower. They had a long debate about it that spanned for days. 

_ “Tubbo,” _ Tommy whined, “ _ C’mon man, at least let me have this.” _

_ “We’re trying to be discrete here.” _

_ “Yeah, but no one will notice it anyway.” _

_ “Ah yes, no one will notice this COBBLESTONE tower that seems to be looming over the sky!” _

_ “Exactly!” _

_ “Tommy, no-”  _

In the end, Tubbo got Tommy to agree that the tower will only be 4 stories up and that Tubbo will help in designing it so it won’t mess with Snowchester’s theme. Whatever that means.

Other than that, everything was...well, to put it in nice terms, tiring. 

Their days were filled with work, work, and more work ‘cause what else is there to do? Tubbo threw himself into building Snowchester and making it better than whatever it was yesterday. Tommy threw himself into grinding for materials, for better armor and weapons. He promised Tubbo that the armor wasn’t so they could fight, he promised that it was just in case something bad happened to Snowchester, _to them._ It calmed Tommy, knowing he could defend whatever land they could call home now. As long as he can, he’ll defend Tubbo with his blood and soul just so they can have some peace. 

But, now, the night’s weather was harsh. Freezing crystals glazed over their windows, the snow was getting heavier and heavier, the howling breeze doing nothing to soothe their aching worries, and the piercing coldness numbing their hands and feet, making it impossible for them to do anything but lay in bed. At least Tubbo got to knit two heavy blankets that's big enough to cover both of them.

Initially, their beds were placed across one another. But then the endless nightmares started. It’s always either Tommy  _ screaming _ from a nightmare (screaming because Dream is here, he’s here to get Tommy. To take away his home, his discs, his  _ Tubbo _ .  _ Nonono- _ ) or Tubbo waking up in cold sweat (somehow feeling the burning sensation across his body even though its fucking cold. Technoblade’s apathetic stare as he both blew Tubbo and L’manburg, twice. The dirt pillar. Tommy’s  _ dead- _ ). Either way, the other would always comfort the one when they need it, always ending up sleeping in the other’s bed no matter what. 

They would then agree to push their beds together, realizing it was more efficient that way so the one that’s comforting won’t have to get pushed on the floor once morning rises. 

Tonight is one of those nights. Tommy’s  _ screaming _ his lungs out, twisting and turning in his bed and blankets that _ Dream, no no no. Ender, please don’t do this. DREAM- _

Tommy is shaken from his place, darkness surrounding his vision and a tight hold on his shoulders, making his brain go on a haywire, screeching: _ it’s Dream! Run. Run. Run. Ru-  _

“Tommy?” 

That voice...it isn’t the cold condescending voice that’s dripping with false hope that he’s so used to. No, it’s a voice that’s familiar and comforting. But he feels a tightness on his chest and it’s cold. Logstedshire was never this  _ cold _ but- 

“Breathe with me. Inhale, one, two, three, four. Hold, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. And exhale, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and eight.”

He trusts that voice so he followed it. They kept at this till he finally felt like his body was under control. His vision finally clears up and- Oh, right...he’s in Snowchester with Tubbo. Despite the dim room, he could still see his brown hair and worried expression ( ~~not tufts of honey blond and a cynical expression~~ ) as he reached over to the desk beside their beds and grabbed a glass of water. They always had it prepared ever since their first night here. 

He drank it quickly, his throat parched and itchy. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tubbo asks as he puts back the empty glass.

Does he? Does he want to subject Tubbo of whatever  _ fucked up _ thing happened in his exile? Does he want Tubbo to constantly worry over him every time he looks at the ocean for way too long? 

“...Not, really,” Tommy’s voice is still hoarse but firm. He wants Tubbo to at least have peace in the land he created. He deserves it. 

And yet, Tubbo doesn’t look convinced. A complete shattered expression as he stares sadly through Tommy’s own broken soul. Why does his heart hurt? 

“I…,” he closes his mouth and opens it again, a string of incoherent sounds come out as he tries to rack his brain for  _ anything _ , just so he can wipe that expression from his best friend’s face, “I...I’m not ready to talk about it.” 

There sat a heavy silence. Not even the ruthless weather could compete with the rigidness and bitter iciness that the silence brought as he could only stare at his friend’s blank look. Oh _ fuck _ . Does Tubbo hate him? Will Tubbo leave him? Just like Wilbur? Techno? Phil?  _ Dream- _

“It’s alright, Tommy,” Tubbo’s gentle voice sliced through his train of thought, a tired smile adorned his face, “I understand.”

Tommy hopes that Tubbo does understand. Ender, he hopes. 

They both couldn’t sleep that night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this chapter ended up being more angstier than intended so hope ya'll had fun readin this. 
> 
> Also that hair scene was inspired by @ven_bell on twitter. here's a link to the comic: https://twitter.com/ven_bell/status/1347780736003133440
> 
> So give them some love and- oh do u hear that dear reader? its the SELLOUT TIMER
> 
> Follow my tumblr: https://terrible-ass-always.tumblr.com/  
> Follow my twitter: @likeadabee


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therapy arc pog??

Tommy tries not to think about the discs. 

Snowchester is lovely...peaceful, even. He looks at Tubbo and he looks so much happier compared to when L’manburg was still there. He knows Tubbo (probably more than himself), so he knows that Tubbo, even if he was smiling or goofing off, that there’s a dull tired sadness in his eyes, an acceptance to how their lives were filled with violence and bloodshed ever since they got to this world. Still, he reminisces on the mesh of orange and blue sky as the sun sets while they sit on the bench, a familiar tune reaching their ear, and  _ Tubbo _ ...at his side no matter what. 

Snowchester may not be home but he can't lose Tubbo...not after he lost everything else.

Days have already passed as both Tommy and Tubbo were done making a tower right beside their house. 

Instead of relaxing after days of hard work, Tubbo decides to start on making the docks. Already, he has a pickaxe in hand and on the other grabbing his green jacket as he wore it on top of his white polo and slacks. 

Huh, he’s still wearing that dumb outfit. Without his hair mostly blocking his vision and being a nuscuince, Tommy has noticed that ever since they got here Tubbo hasn't parted at all from that outfit. 

He remembered asking it yesterday, just as they finished the top most part of the tower.

_ “I’m,”  _ Tubbo looked uncomfortable, shifting his eyes everywhere except on Tommy,  _ “I...I’m just not ready to part with it, yet” _

Now, Tommy knew how much Tubbo hated being the president. He could see it in his tense aching shoulders, the restless nights that seemed to stretch on. He hated that he was forced to handle the responsibility of a whole nation, constantly pressured by his own cabinet (the people  _ he _ trusted), but...he's just not ready. Though, he does want to move on. Tommy would be a fucking blind idiot to not see that Tubbo wants to move on. 

He sighs, guess he should start sewing again. Something that would compliment Tubbo’s current outfit but still  _ something _ different. In the end, he decided on sewing a mint green vest that was soft to the touch. He even planned to have it patterned. ‘ _ Tubbo better be grateful for this shit _ ,’ Tommy thought as he stomped into their basement already looking for the materials he needed for it. 

Honestly, he shouldn’t have even doubted that Tubbo would be anything  _ but _ grateful as he presented the vest to him on the very next day. 

A bright smile on Tubbo’s face, he swears he isn’t crying. Tommy says otherwise as he poke fun at the brunette for being a  _ wuss _ .

Tubbo let out an offended gasp, both his hands landed on his hips, “Then I guess you wouldn’t mind me _ throwing away _ the sweater I'm making.” Oh, this  _ dramatic bitch- _

“You’re an idiot.” 

Tubbo just raised an eyebrow, “Guess, you’ll have to die of  _ hypothermia _ . It’s been a good run-”

Tommy clamped both his ears with his hands as he turned the other direction of Tubbo, “LALALALA! You’re an idiot. If I can’t hear you then it don’t exist, bitch!” 

In an instant, it all devolved into screeching laughter as Tubbo chased Tommy down, tackling him down to the floor as Tommy tried to evade Tubbo but that  _ bitch _ kept pursuing him. Snowchester echoed in the carefree laughters of the two broken children, chasing each other through the soft hail. 

Later, after Tubbo was done cleaning up and trading with the villagers, he brought back more wool and yarn with all sorts of colors. But he also brought in a shit ton of books. It ranged from educational books such as history and biology to an “Adventurer's guide on Mobs!” 

Tommy thinks it's useless, but, somewhere deep in his  _ obviously  _ dark and small heart, he’s grateful for it. He usually was never an avid reader compared to his older brothers. And Tubbo couldn’t read at the time so he didn’t bother that much. Though, after exile and after staying with the Blade, he needed something to occupy his mind, so he found solace in the vast extensive novels that his ~~ex~~ pseudo-brother owns. 

He smiles, caressing the worn leather cover of the books. He’s glad. 

\---

They probably shouldn’t have visited whatever remains from L’manburg.  _ Especially  _ today. But they agreed that they could probably get some resources in the gaping hole where their home used to be. 

Ender, why out of all the days they decided to hold what’s apparently a  _ resurrection _ of his deceased brother. 

Now, with both of them, hiding behind a stone pillar, Tommy and Tubbo had a good view on  _ what the fuck’s _ going on. 

Philza’s there. Along with Ranboo, Fundy, and Eret as they also stood back and watched. 

Tommy could hear Ghostbur’s echoe-y voice as he spouted something. He couldn’t quite hear it, but he knows he’s probably reciting (alive) Wilbur’s last words. He felt himself tense as Ghostbur caressed the button, but his mind went blank as soon as Phil stepped in with his  _ netherite  _ fucking sword. He can’t breathe. The static ringing as loud as Ghostbur pleading to Phil that  _ he’s scared, he doesn’t want to go, please- _

He didn’t even notice he’s sitting on the rough cold floor, till Tubbo’s voice cut through him, “Breathe with me.” 

He shakes his head, clamping roughly on his ears as he tried to drown out the sound of his father fucking stabbing his brother  _ again _ . 

Something wet is running down his face. Immediately, he rubs it against the sleeve of his jacket. He’s not sure why but he’s scared. All he knows is that he has to be there for his brother. 

After some more internal debate and Tubbo’s patient presence, he looks back on the scene. Phil, Eret, and Fundy seemed to devolve into some sort of shouting match. But Ghostbur is there...with horns? Wait, he doesn’t remember any horns wha-

He felt someone tugging on his sleeves, trying to pull him away.

“Tommy, we have to  _ go _ .” 

He stares longingly at Ghostbur...at Phil...at Ranboo, Fundy, and Eret. 

They have no place here. With that, they left L’manburg without ever looking back. 

\---

It’s another harsh freezing night, forcing them to stay inside, but they developed a sort of routine. They would push their couch near the fireplace, throwing as well all the pillows and blankets they had, and promptly lazed on it. 

Currently, Tubbo’s in his white polo and mint vest, knitting with a blanket pulled up as his feet laid on top of Tommy’s lap. In contrast, Tommy’s wearing his brown coat as he sat normally, reading aloud a story about some village that went mad. The fire softly crackled as it warmed the house. 

It’s peaceful. 

“And so Robin stayed in the cell where-”

“Uh, Tommy?” Tubbo tentatively said, pulling his legs closer to him as he put his needles and yarn on the floor. He was fiddling with his hands, looking as nervous as ever.

Ok, something’s obviously bothering him. Usually, Tubbo wouldn’t interrupt their “storytime” unless something urgent ever came up or if he needed to go to the bathroom. This, however, doesn’t seem like a piss break. Tommy sighs, putting a tiny small paper on the page where he stopped reading, promptly shutting it and placing it on his lap. 

He raised his eyebrow, questioning Tubbo. 

Tubbo seems to stall as he pulls on whatever threads his jacket has, fiddling the small thread that captured his attention. He opens his mouth but closes it instantly, looking as unsure as ever. 

He takes one long deep breath and exhales, staring directly at Tommy with determination flared in his eyes, “Can...can I ask about the dirt pillar?”

Oh. 

So it’s gonna be this type of night, huh. 

“I thought you died…,” Tubbo sounds so small, so  _ vulnerable _ . The only time he was like this was when they got betrayed by Eret, when Techno blew him up with a firework, when Dream fucking called him a useless,  _ stupid _ president. Ender, he hates this. 

He wants to just fucking keep everything in like he usually does. He wants to jokingly say, _ “Of course, i didn’t die, shithead” _ and just ignore everything. But...he’s so tired. They both are. 

He lays his head back against the sofa, staring directly at the crackling embers. Ignoring the worried sky blue eyes that were piercing through his skull. 

Tommy sighs, “...I almost did.” 

Tommy could hear the small hitch from Tubbo, could see from the corner of his eyes on how  _ tight _ his grip is on the blanket. 

“...Dream would always blow up whatever stuff I managed to get every time. Told me no one gave a fuck about me. So when the party happened and no one showed up. It fucked me over, I guess,” he let out a wet chuckle, feeling his own rapid heartbeat, “I would always wake up drowning. It scared me at first, but I...got used to it. There were so many times I wanted to just drown, to jump in lava…” 

So many flashes of his time in  _ Logstedshire _ , waiting patiently in the nether portal to see if anyone would come visit him, to be with him, to  _ stay _ with him...no one ever did. 

He got startled a bit when he felt Tubbo’s warm hand made contact with his. A sharp reminder to how fucking cold everything is. Just as cold as the salt water entered his lungs, clawing at him as air was sucked up, and numbing coldness seeped in. 

He held Tubbo’s hands even tighter. 

“Yeah, I should’ve realized something was wrong but...it's so lonely out there.” He remembers the utter silence, the  _ absence _ of warmth that seemed to span from everywhere. “Dream did always visit me. Made me think he was my only friend but,” he tilts his head upwards trying to feel the strong breeze that attempted to push and pull him in every direction but his feet stayed planted on that dirt block, his eyes burn, “when I was on that pillar, so high up from everything else...It made me realize he was just watching me. Like an annoying insect that needed to be squished.”

Tubbo’s head landed on his shoulder, a mop of brown splayed across, “Ender...I’m such a terrible friend.”

Something tight  _ squeezed _ his heart. “Tubbo, no. You’re not,” his voice firm as he ignores how choked his own voice is. Tubbo’s always been there at his side. For every prank. For every adventure. For every  _ war _ . He understood why Tubbo had to exile him. He forgave him the moment he stepped on that _ shitty _ island. 

“I should’ve tried more,” Tubbo let out a shuddering sob, turning his head to also stare at the fire, tears falling softly on the blankets, “I should’ve been a better president. L’manburg blew up on  _ my _ watch. I couldn’t even control my own cabinet. And now,  _ Dream _ has more control than ever. Ender, even Schlatt did a better job than me!” 

Tommy scoffs, “Bullshit, Schlatt is a dickhead. He couldn’t give a shit on what happened to L’manburg...as long as he had control.”

A hush of the raging blizzard outside blew. 

Tubbo pulls on the blanket around him, resting his head once more on the other’s shoulder, “...Fundy developed a smoking habit because of him...I would always be there to try to stop him but,” Tubbo’s eyes had a glaze over them, remembering a time that seemed like eons ago, “I honestly don't know where he is right now, but wherever he is, I hope he can take care of himself.”

Tubbo always had a caring nature, no matter how many times you’ve _ backstabbed  _ him...he would always somehow forgive you. “You care too much,” he sighs as he gently pushes Tubbo. He needs to look at him to get his point across, “What about yourself?”

“Well, I have you for that, don’t I?” Hope and restlessness shone in his red rimmed eyes, sniffling as he tried to smile. 

He isn’t sure if it’s him or Tubbo, but they were enveloped in a tight hug. Not bothering to notice the wetness that fell from both of their faces. The blanket draping them fell off their shoulders. But they didn’t care. The wind blowing, the snow falling, the fire crackling, and the small sniffles filled the air though none of them said anything for a while. Silence rang through the room but...it’s comfortable.

Tubbo laid his head on Tommy’s shoulder, his voice muffled as he said, “I wished I visited sooner, but I was afraid that you hated me for exiling you.”

Tommy rested his cheek on the soft brunette hair, letting out a sad excuse of a chuckle, “I thought  _ you _ hated me.” 

He feels Tubbo’s winding arms get tighter, pulling them even closer, “Even if I try, I probably couldn’t.” 

“Good.”

\---

At the end of the week, Tubbo proudly presents two sweaters. For Tommy, a maroon sweater with gold patterns on it to mimic stripes. For himself, a black and yellow striped sweater to mimic a bee!

Despite Tommy having his own sweater and the ability to make more clothes, he still steals Tubbo’s prize bee sweater. Tubbo retaliates by stealing Tommy’s. 

They bickered and shouted as usual. Though in the end, they decided to just let things be...for now. 

With that, Tommy lays on his side of the bed with the bee sweater under the brown coat he usually wears, trying to fall asleep. Tubbo is on another side of the room (wearing Tommy’s sweater that was too _ big  _ on him), sitting on the chair of the desk he just built, reading...well, Tommy’s not exactly sure but he is reading  _ something _ . Planning most likely. 

“Y’know...he’ll find another way to control me,” he said in a hush tone. He doesn’t even need to mention  _ who _ . They both knew. 

Tubbo just gave a hum of acknowledgement, looking like he couldn’t even be bothered. A simmering anger ignited. Such a familiar feeling.

“Tubbo, you need to understand that he’ll use you against me,” he sits up glaring at Tubbo but instantly it softens. “...I honestly don’t know what I’d do with myself if i lost you again.” 

Tubbo closes his book and walks over to the bed, creaking at the sudden weight as he sits on it, “We’ll...we’ll find a way, big man. Don’t worry.” He gave a reassuring smile, his blue eyes reminding him so much of the skies of L’manburg. 

Tommy stays silent just burrowing into the warmth of the little world they’ve created. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this took a while. I basically had other ideas for other fics so i kinda got stalled hahah 
> 
> ALSO i'm still not over the finale of season 2 cuz goddamn was it so satisfying to see the clingy duo prevail and for the green boi to suck it for the LAST TIME. Anyways, i would give my entire soul to Sam Nook and Cool wine aunt Puffy *sobs* They're the only adults EVER. 
> 
> (What i'm saying is you'll see them soon in the future to commence operation: Found Family. So get ready for the ridiculous amount of fluff in the future ;)))


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry once again that this chapter took a while. Online classes are being a bitch and as my last year of shs i have to write and do so much shit :')))
> 
> Also, this ain't beta read so excuse all my spelling/grammar mistakes 
> 
> Nonetheless, enjoy!!

“And that’s it!”

Tubbo stood up, dusting off the red dust that’s sprinkled all over his hands, face, and clothes. Proudly surveying his work. 

Tommy whistled, impressed at how Tubbo even came up with half of this shit. Well, he did stay up until the crack of the morning just searching through all his notes and books (no matter how many times he tried to conk Tubbo to sleep at a reasonable time,  _ somehow _ that slippery bastard managed to escape, clutching unto his books and stacks of paper for dear life. ‘ _ Maybe it’s because it’s ‘cause Tubbo is almost the size of a baby sheep _ ,’ Tommy snickers at that thought). 

But, there're now runes (very similar to the ones that Tommy has seen in enchanting tables) carved into the snowy ground around their house. He would occasionally peak from time to time and saw Tubbo set up some sort of redstone mechanic that Tommy has absolutely no patience to understand nor listen to, as well as splashing some potion that has a hue of pink and purple from time to time. Though, he was very confused on why Tubbo just randomly asked for his hair strand yesterday. He only remembers Tubbo explaining — well, slurring — in his delirious sleep-deprived state that whatever he was working on is supposed to make sure that they would be undetected from the whole Dream SMP. Meaning, if  _ anyone _ tried to trace them or look for them, it would nearly be impossible, even for Dream. After that, Tubbo ran to the basement brewing potions, and only got to feel the daylight now. 

“How did you do it?”

Tubbo looks up at Tommy with shimmering proud eyes, “Well, I picked up some things from being an ex-dreamon hunter. And I am great with cogs.” 

“Cogs?”

“Yeah! I dabble in it from time to time. It helps me release stress, especially when I was handed the presidency for L’manburg.”

Huh. “You are weird.” 

“Oi!” Tubbo said with a mock hurt look, punching Tommy in the shoulder. Though he could see Tubbo’s struggle to keep his mouth straight in an angry line.

Tommy let out a bark of laughter, rubbing his shoulder despite it barely hurting, “What? Next thing you’re probably gonna say is that you’re a witch doctor! Or a mad scientist!”

There’s now a mischievous glint in Tubbo’s eyes, “Well…”

“Shut up, Tubbo.” 

\---

Tommy's only supposed to gather more logs and possibly find more sheep for wool. Not...this.

“Ghostbur?” He hasn’t seen him since...the last time they visited L’manburg. They actually haven’t seen anyone in months, now that he thinks about it. 

“Tommy!” Ghostbur squealed, still in his yellow sweater with a blue dripping gash right over his stomach as he floated(?) to Tommy and promptly giving him a hug that felt more like a very cold breeze wrapping itself around him. But this time, rather than the chilly weather of Snowchester it’s in the form of his deceased older brother. 

He feels a cool hand patting his hair, “Oh, I’ve missed you. It feels so long since the last time we hung out.” 

Tommy lightly pushes Ghostbur, pulling out from the hug with pinched eyebrows, “Wha- what are you doing here?” Ender,  _ how did he even get here? _

Ghostbur brought a finger up to his chin, a look of contemplation, “Well, i’ve been trying to look for Techno’s base and I think I took the wrong turn in the nether, and then I thought I did arrive at his snow biome but nothing felt familiar so I just kept roaming around, but then it started snowing so I stayed waiting in the trees for quite a while-

“Ghostbur, slow down!”

“Oh, sorry Tommy.” He looks visibly startled, sincere distress in his empty white eyes as he reaches  _ somewhere _ and takes out a chalk of blue dye. “Here have some blue, calm yourself.”

The blue is already staining Tommy’s hands. “...Thanks...so you have no idea where you are?”

“Nope!” He happily exclaims with a bright smile. 

Tommy sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Fine. C’mon Tubbo is already making dinner so might as well bring you along.” 

Ghostbur lets out another loud squeal, “Yay! Lads on tour is back!”

“Oh for fuck sake-”

\------

Tommy’s been trying to read his greek mythology book but he keeps having to repeat the same goddamn page because of  _ Ghostbur _ . He’s been staying with them for a few days now and,  _ ender _ , does Tommy both adores and loathes it. 

On one hand, he gets to hangout with his brother again  ~~even if it is just a hollow shell of what he used to be~~. But on the other hand, Ghostbur keeps on occasionally popping through the walls with a “boo!” and throwing small items at him, trying to spook Tommy. Except for the fact he’s used to his  ~~ dead  ~~ brother’s antics by now that he only feels severe annoyance everytime Ghostbur does his “ghost things.” Prime, is this how the others feel whenever  _ he’s _ annoying them? 

One of his eyes twitched on instinct, having had enough of another slice of pumpkin pie being thrown at his head. He closes his book with a loud shut, already getting up and sidestepping all the fallen items that he couldn’t be bothered to pick up as he reaches for the doorknob to get out of the house when he’s suddenly nose to nose with Ghostbur’s gray transparent face. He lets out a squawk, falling back on his ass. 

“Awe, Tommy where are you going?” There’s a _ fucking _ pout on Ghostbur’s face. 

“Uh, i’m just gonna check on Tubbo. But i’ll be back.” He tries to reassure Ghostbur as he gets up and side steps him in order to reach the doorknob. 

Ghostbur lets out a hum of contemplation, but then cheerfully chirps, “Ok!” 

Tommy lets out a sigh of relief, finally he’s out in the snow with the book still attached to his hand. Guess, he might as well go look for Tubbo since he’s here. 

It only took him 2 minutes going through a series of bushes and trees when he finally saw a clearing for a greenhouse. It has the same pattern theme that all the other buildings so far in Snowchest, a mix of stone and spruce logs with bigger pane glass windows in order to get as much sunlight as possible. Tubbo finished this build (along with his help) a week ago. But ever since that day, Tubbo’s been spending most of his time here. Probably to escape from whatever demon he’s facing. Tommy huffs. 

He carelessly opens the door with probably more force that’s needed. Instantly, he gets a potent whiff of grass, flowers, and basically everything  _ green  _ and sweet  ~~once again another bitter reminder of the green hills littered with flowers of where his home used to be~~. There’s a lush line of ferns and vegetables near the side of the wall as bees lazily float around the various types of flowers that Tommy picked and planted around the room. And there’s Tubbo, laying down as he bathes in the sunlight and fresh greenery, stripped off from his usual green jacket and simply donning his white polo and green vest as bees floated around, not bothering him at all. He looks peaceful. Tommy walks over and promptly plops down beside Tubbo.

He was about to open his book and start reading when his eye caught a compass that Tubbo is clutching unto his chest. Could that- no. It can’t be...Dream told him that- 

“What’s up big man?” 

He’s startled back into reality, almost dropping his book as Tubbo peered at him. “Nothing...just wanted to get out of the house. ‘S all,” He tries to keep his voice as nonchalant as possible but it’s obvious Tubbo isn’t buying it. 

He lets out a hum as he shuts his eyes again, “If you say so.”

Tommy could hear how fast his heart’s beating; he couldn’t look away from the compass.

_ “Oh, yeah. I think I saw him throw the compass in the community chests.” _

_ “I heard from Fundy that Tubbo burnt his compass.”  _

_ “He doesn’t have the compass anymore, Tommy. He doesn’t care about you.”  _

That green bastard’s voice will never fail to make him  _ recoil  _ with utter fear and disgust. The ringing in his head that always greeted him at night surrounded him, suffocating him. Just like the cold raging ocean trying to force itself inside his lungs, dragging him to the very bottom of the sea as he tries to swim back to the surface, to L’manburg, to  _ home _ .

He coughs, trying to shake himself and hide the nervousness, “You...you still have it?” 

“Wha- oh...yeah.”

Tommy swallows down something icky that lodged in his throat, “I thought you threw it away.” 

“Never,” he said with absolutely no hesitation in his voice. Tommy saw Tubbo’s hand tighten on the compass as if he couldn’t even fathom the thought of throwing it away.

He couldn’t either. 

“It doesn’t work anymore but,” the brunette raises it up in front of him, the soft sunlight reflecting upon the shattered pieces of glass and chipped metal; it’s utterly broken, yet Tubbo smiles, “It calms me to know that you’ll always be by my side.”

Oh. 

“What happened to it?” His voice definitely did  _ not _ waver. 

Tubbo just droned, “Creeper explosion.” 

Tommy lets out a puff of laughter as he rubs his eye ‘cause it’s itchy  ~~not ‘cause of~~ ~~_ something else _ ~~ , “Ah, makes sense.”

Tubbo glanced at him with a frown, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know. You always somehow attract all the creepers around you.”

“That’s just rude,” Tubbo said indignantly, yet there was no malice in his voice. 

He watches the bees move and crowd over a cornflower. He should probably gather more blue for Ghostbur. 

“Do you still have it?”

Tommy was once again jolted from his thoughts but he quickly answered, “Of course.” And before his brain could catch up, he spewed, “It’s just there in my enderchest. I honestly just don’t want anything to happen to it.”

He immediately shuts his mouth with a loud clack from his teeth colliding. Not helping at all with the loud fucking static. He wasn’t supposed to say that. Tubbo shouldn't have known. Tubbo doesn’t need to know. He doesn’t need to know that he’s vulnerable and scared even though  _ he _ already admitted to fucking almost committing suici- 

Tubbo lets out a quiet hum in agreement, cutting through the cacophony of thoughts as the brunette closed his eyes. 

Tommy needs to fucking calm down before he fully drowns himself again. He takes in a big breath of air, and counts backwards in his head, forcing the static to stay down. Once he’s done counting, everything will be ok. It has to be ok. He only opens his eyes when the ringing has quieted down. Not exactly gone but it’s smaller. And he’s back here, sunbathing in the greenhouse/aviary. With Tubbo. Flexing his fingers not realizing how hard he’s gripping the hardbound book, trying to get back as much warmth that he can get. 

He breathes one more time. Finally, opening his book to drown out everything else. 

At least, he’s not cramped up in the basement he dug under Techno’s house. At least, he can find warmth and comfort with Tubbo’s presence once again. 

\----

Tubbo notices an emerald earring on Ghostbur. It has a distinct color of green that even he can’t describe. It has a gradient of blue mixed in as the shade of green shifts under certain light, but he can tell it’s still an emerald with the way it’s shaped. 

But what he can describe is that it’s a similar shade to Tommy’s emerald when he accidentally caught his best friend fawning over the broken shards of jewel. He never bothered to ask about it. Though, he does remember the time that Phil gave an emerald to Ghostbur  but none for him when New L’manburg still stood proudly. 

He wants to do something to get rid of the sad and bitter look on Tommy. Which is why him and Ghostbur are concocting a plan that’ll  _ hopefully _ make him smile, just a tad bit. But for that to happen, Tubbo needs the shattered pieces of emerald. So he asked. 

At first, Tommy refused to even bring it out in Tubbo’s presence. It took a couple of Tubbo’s patient smiles and  _ “Just trust me, ok?” _ for Tommy to reluctantly give a few pieces of the emerald. 

So, with the help of Ghostbur and more time spent down in the basement, he can gladly present two shiny metal bands with a leaf pattern on it and a small shimmering emerald that sat nicely on the center of it. One for Tommy and one for him. It’s simple but it looks nice. At least, Ghostbur agrees with the overall design of it.

Tommy was hesitant to wear it. A conflicted look on his face. 

(He wasn't sure how to feel about this shiny item that continued to mock him,  _ reminding  _ him of all the precious memories from a time when he thought his family would always be by his side. A time where he thought he would be saved by his family. A time where he thought he would never be alone. That was obviously a lie.)

“If it makes you feel better, it doesn’t belong to Phil anymore. It’s ours now, big man. Tommy and Tubbo, like always,” he nervously smiled, fiddling with his own bracelet. 

Then, Tommy smiled. It’s a small one but it’s a genuine one that managed to sparkle his blue eyes just a tad bit. 

“Whatever.” Despite that, he grinned and wore the bracelet for the rest of the day. 

The next day, Tommy suggested bleaching Tubbo’s hair. 

Ghostbur, immediately on board with the plan, is already rummaging through their various chests, looking for dyes and brushes. Tubbo, obviously had no say in this as he accepted his fate, as he got strapped into a chair with a ghost slapping some goop on his head while Tommy cackled in the background. That tall  _ bastard _ . 

At least, Ghostbur knew what he was doing, he remembers a vague memory of a time where they were all together. A pink splattered sink and the smell of beetroot invaded his senses. Wilbur would always help Techno dye his hair. He wonders how Techno is managing that without Wilbur there at his side. 

Once it was done and he dried his hair, both Tommy and Tubbo gazed at his newly bleach hair. Not exactly blonde like Tommy’s, but the fringes of his hair are pale yellow and then a gradient leading up to the brown roots. Huh. it actually looks decent. He grins at Tommy. Tommy just huffs at him, “Nice hair, loser.” 

And so, the house devolved into chaos as Tubbo chased after Tommy, knocking over chests and items around the house and splattering the walls with more of the goop and dye that Ghostbur left out. Ghostbur simply smiled at them, knocking a few items off himself as the boys continued running around. It was a good day. 

But all good things had to end, so, the week is over. Ghostbur had to leave, needing to head back to Phil and help with the whole resurrection thing. He had a few items on him, mainly blue, and a map that will lead him back to the portal he came out of. 

“Will you come back?” Tommy grudgingly asked before Ghostbur could float farther away. 

Ghostbur practically beams at him with a tilt of his head, “Of course, I will! Why wouldn’t I?” 

“...Nothing.” He doesn’t know how to feel about  _ Wilbur _ . He misses him but at the same time he...he doesn’t want the Wilbur that was paranoid of everything, that belittled and mocked him everytime he could, that went batshit  _ insane _ and blew up the nation they built.

Ghostbur waves at them, beaming from a distance near the forest. They both waved back with smiles on their faces. 

Tommy finally puts his arm down, his smile devolving into a frown, “Do you...do you think the others would like to see us?”

It was quiet for a while till Tubbo responded, “I’m not sure.”

They still are gazing at Ghostbur’s disappearing form. Still not looking away even if he was finally submerged in the trees. 

Tubbo continues, a frown gracing his face, “But I do know that...I miss them, all of them.” 

“Me too, Tubs. Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so for anyone that’s somewhat confused how the rune thing works, basically the runes will make Tommy and Tubbo undetected (not invisible) from the whole SMP so no one could trace them. Though if they do stray too far from the runes, they can finally be traceable. But if they’re within like 1,000 - 5,000 blocks then they’re probably fine but it gets weaker and weaker the more they go too far (in mc game mechanics, just imagine infinite crouching but not). So, Snowchester and Clingy duo is still very much visible. 
> 
> (Sorry if that’s confusing afsjs)
> 
> Also if ur wondering, Tubbo mixed both their hair strands in a splash potion of invisibility so it only works on them 
> 
> Also^2 I really just like to think that Tommy even tho he’s trying to improve himself still keeps certain aspects of his thoughts and feelings to himself. Esp regarding materialistic things. So i hc that sure Tommy can say all the fucked up things that happened to him but if its like the compass where he was so sure that Tubbo didn’t care about him but still deciding to keep it, just symbolizes how much he values his attachments to things that he panics at the thought of being vulnerable cuz look at what happened to the disc. 
> 
> Also^3 got the inspo for semi bleach hair Tubbo from @rozugold on tumblr so go check them out!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)

Tommy brushes off the cold sweat running down from his forehead. A loud thunk from his hammer as he stood up and surveyed his work. 

_ ‘Welcome to Snowcherster!’ _

A simple carved sign that was placed in between a tree and a road towards the village. It had a little painted bee and a small crude word in bold red letters saying  _ ‘BITCH’ _ right below it. Honestly, he doesn’t understand why Tubbo insisted on doing this. Especially in the crack of fucking  _ dawn _ where the world is still in a swamp of blue and the temperature reaches negative celsius that’s sure to freeze a snow golem. 

He groans, “This is dumb.”

“No, it's not!” A voice behind him responded. 

He turns, and quirks an eyebrow toward his best friend, “I thought the whole point of the rune thing was so no one can find us?”

Tubbo huffs, promptly putting both his hands on his hips, “It’s just in case anyone needs shelter. And you might never know we’ll finally have a neighbor!” 

Dread pools in Tommy’s stomach, not liking the idea of someone else staying with them but he pushes it aside, not wanting to ruin Tubbo’s beaming smile. So, he grumbles out, “And yet, you won’t let me build my cobblestone tower.” 

“To be fair, it’s quite ugly.” 

“Oi! Take that back!” 

And then it was a chase between the two boys. Running through the trees, trying to see who gets to their house first as they try to shove one another. Their laughter bounced from branch to branch, the very breeze danced in their joy creating a pocket of warmth in the land they got to call home. 

For now, Tommy doesn’t have to worry. 

\---

That was a lie. Tommy had every reason to worry. 

The day started off as normal as any other day. Wake up in the afternoon, shake Tubbo from his slumber so he can start making “breakfast,” eat breakfast,  _ try _ to tidy up all the broken shit around the house, shower, and then do whatever chore that’s needed. 

But something — well,  _ someone _ _ — _ came up, softly knocking on their wooden door. 

That dread in his stomach came back with full force, almost making him want to puke his half-eaten toast and eggs. No one else knows where they live other than Ghostbur. Is Ghostbur back to visit them? He’s not sure. Wait...did he give out the fucking coordinates to where Snowchester is?!

From the corner of his eye, Tubbo shifted in his seat, already walking halfway to the door before Tommy caught the sleeve of his maroon sweater. He puts a finger to his lips, telling him to stay fucking quiet!

Tubbo just rolled his eyes at him. Oh, that son of bitc- 

_ KNOCK.  _

_ KNOCK.  _

_ KNOCK. _

The knocks that followed were louder, harsher. The person obviously behind it was getting impatient. He’s not sure if he’s glad he can’t see the person yet. Their curtains were still closed off as Tubbo couldn’t handle the light streaming in upon waking up. But even if it was drawn up, their windows were too small to see anything clear from the inside. 

Still, he goes through one of his chests as quietly as possible, rummaging through to find two spare diamond swords. Their actual gear and weapons—which is _ netherite _ and  _ fully enchanted _ , mind you—was stored somewhere outside their house since Tubbo had the bright idea to build a vault ‘cause  _ why bloody not. _

He passes one to Tubbo and signals him to stand behind him. Tubbo huffs, rolling his eyes again, but follows anyway. 

He’s standing in front of the door, barely brushing upon the golden doorknob. He can see his reflection on it, cold sweat pouring from his face, his mouth in a tight straight line. He can hear his own loud rhythmic heart beating in his ear. Why is he so nervous? Maybe it is just Ghostbur...but it could also be Techno or Phil or, worse,  _ Dream _ .

He involuntarily shudders at the image of that ugly green bastard. Standing over him, raining TNT and withers upon them with the people he thought he could trust the most. Telling, demanding to  _ throw his stuff down the ho _ -

No. No, he can do this. He shakes his head. He needs to be a big man. He _ is _ a big man. He’ll just kill whoever’s on the opposite end. Yeah, that sounds right. So  _ why  _ can’t he just open the fucking door? What a  _ pathetic, weak, lonely piece of shit he _ -

Then, a tug from his brown coat, a sudden reminder that Tubbo is there right beside him. A pinched expression; worry painted across his best friend’s face as he continued to stare at Tommy with those clouded sky blue eyes. Something in him calms down a bit. Giving him time to _ breathe _ . He closes his eyes, takes in a deep breath as he grips his bracelet and counts down from 10. 

He opens his eyes. 

Ok. he can do this. He’s fucking TommyInnit and  _ nothing  _ will ever stop him. 

With a shaky hand, he forces everything in him to turn the doorknob and almost rips the hinges off. 

He instantly regrets it. 

A familiar blonde man is standing right in front of him, his hand awkwardly frozen in mid-air as he was about to knock once more. He still looks the same as ever with his neatly braided shoulder length hair, the swaths of royal blue, red, and gold clothing tailored fit for him, and an easy going smile to match his tired eyes. 

Philza  _ fucking  _ Minecraft. 

He stumbles back, “How- how the _ fuck  _ did you find us.”

“Ghostbur told me.” Phil leans on their door frame. “And, I saw your little sign from the road,” he says coolly, pointing a thumb to possibly where the sign is submerged in all of the spruce trees. 

That fucking sign. 

Though, something shifted in Phil’s eyes, a familiarity as he’s looking slightly down, not meeting Tommy’s nervous gaze. He follows the direction of Phil’s soft gaze as it landed on his sword? No- wait, it’s another shiny object on his arm, but instead of the gleaming blue diamond sword, it’s bright green sparkling emerald on his bracelet.

“Is that-” 

Tommy immediately clamped his free hand on his bracelet in a tight grip, “...Phil, leave.”

“Tommy, I-” Phil reaches out, possibly to comfort the distress that’s clear in the slight tremble in Tommy’s body. But those careful and proud pats mean  _ nothing _ to him now. He remorselessly smacks Phil’s hand again, gripping his sword tighter as he puts himself in a familiar stance, ready to fight. 

“Don't you understand, I don't want you here! I’ll fucking kill you!” Tommy knows — somewhere deep inside his mending heart — that's not true, but he can't let Phil  _ take _ Tubbo.  _ He _ can't go back to Dream. He won’t allow it without fighting till all that’s left of him is nothing but a husk of broken bones and a shattered spirit. Just like always. 

He feels another tug behind him. He doesn’t look back, knowing he’ll instantly cave upon seeing his best friend’s desperate expression. 

Phil’s face twisted something akin to pain, but as quickly as it came it was gone, smoothed out with his lips set in a firm line. “You know why I want L'manburg gone? Because it took  _ both _ my sons away. it took Wilbur and it took you. I can't stand seeing you hurt over a country that doesn't give two  _ shit's  _ about you.”

A wounded sound came from behind him, on instinct he tightened his grip on his weapon, trying to block Phil’s sight from Tubbo, even if he’s solely focused on Tommy. Despite that, his whole body tenses, ready for bloodshed just to keep Tubbo away from Phil. Shielding Tubbo. Protecting him.

Phil pushes onward with his hand tightly gripping on his uniform. “It  _ hurt _ that I had to kill Wilbur.”

“Don't you think I wasn’t affected as well?!” The raging resentment overflowed his entire body. “I had to see my own father  _ kill _ my brother because he went batshit insane. Then when I was in exile you didn't fucking visit me!” Always forgotten, unneeded, unwanted. “Never  _ once _ did I see you fucking look at Logstedshire and think,  _ ‘wow I should probably visit my other son and see how he's doing,’ _ no! It's always been Techno this and Techno that…”

Tommy tries to breathe, his whole lungs and body felt completely numb, “You didn’t even try to go to my party...you knew…”

“...I didn’t want to barge in uninvited-”

“Bullshit! You fucking  _ knew _ . Was caring for your son not enough of a fucking invite!?” His vision blurred but he couldn’t bring himself to wipe it. “Or did you just not give a fuck ‘cause you’re too busy with Techno-”

“Tommy,” Phil stopped him, his eyes pleading. But he shakes his head. “I don't expect you to understand. You're still a child-”

“Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!” He clamped both his ears, his hold went lax as he tries to shut out the blaring static crashing unto him like the stormy ocean, filling his head that he’s just  _ a child that doesn’t understand anything, a child that’s too loud and annoying, a child that had to grow up too quickly in a world where it _ took _ everything from him.  _ “When Wilbur wanted to blow up L’manburg, It's time to fucking stab him but when it's Techno, _ 'oh sure let me help and fully support him!' _ "

“Techno has beliefs and he stuck with it.”

“And I stuck with mine. If I sided with Techno I would be lying to myself, I would be a fucking traitor. At least acknowledge that…” His throat hurts. Raspy and itchy as he tries so much not to visibly shake when he takes in gulps of air. 

“It’s for your own good tommy. To teach you a lesson.”

“I’m fucking done with lessons. I’m done with you,” he whispers so quietly but the admission, the  _ realization _ blew up at him like a wither ready to attack. He hears the clang of his weapon, not bothering as everything feels so numb and  _ cold _ to him.

But, before Phil could step further in their house, Tubbo suddenly came in front of him, pushing him back with a firm yet gentle hand. He hears the sharp whistle of the diamond sword, the glinting weapon resting on Phil’s chest as he stares down at the ire of a broken child. 

“Phil, I know I forgive too easily on people...but what you did to Tommy is something I can't forgive. Heck, even I can't forgive myself,” Tubbo snarls in a dark low voice, not wavering despite Phil bringing his netherite sword out. Still, Tubbo doesn’t back down, not when Tommy is hurt. “So if I see you here again, I won’t hesitate to  _ clip _ your own wings. Leave.”

Phil’s eyes danced between the two boys, so much emotions flickered through but none settled for them to see. With a heavy sigh, Phil finally turns around, his elegant large black wings on display to them. Tommy vividly remembers a moment when he — along with Techno — preened Phil’s wings while Wilbur and Tubbo chased the creatures around the forest. Why does his chest hurt?

“I won’t tell anyone.”

With a flap of his wings, he’s gone. Once again.

\--

Tommy hasn’t touched any of his books for a few days now. 

Throughout the day, he would just wake up from an awful nightmare, stare at the ceiling, wait for the sun to rise, continue to stare at the ceiling, have Tubbo try to get him out of bed, stare at the wall, and it goes on and on and on. 

He feels exhaustion in his bones, yet he couldn’t sleep. How could he, when everything he has built could probably be blown up again by his own _ family _ . 

Family. He spits at the mere thought of it. 

The closest thing he has to one is Tubbo. But even his best friend is more antsy than usual, his eyebags getting darker and darker with every failed attempt to get Tommy out of bed. The worry that’s taut in his anxious form is probably worsening everything. 

Though, one cold harsh evening, Tubbo seems like he’s had enough. Storming in their room as he grabs Tommy’s ankle and  _ yanks _ him; completely off the bed. 

“Tubbo?!”

But Tubbo pointedly ignored him as he got dragged across their house up until their living room despite Tommy trying to latch on to  _ anything, _ but Tubbo would just wrench him from it. When the _ fuck _ did Tubbo get strong?  ~~ Maybe he’s just weak  ~~

His whole body gets thrown unto their couch. But before he could get his thoughts all sorted out, a blanket landed on his face. Then a pillow. Then more blankets. Then possibly more pillows. Till the weight of it all felt like it’s crushing his bones. 

He tugs and wrenches most of everything off him. Finally, able to see; Tubbo is carefully placing two steaming mugs on the floor as wafts of chocolate invaded his nostrils. A book lands on his lap as Tubbo settles in his usual spot where his head is snugly on the armchair with a blanket on top of him. 

He caresses the leather cover of the book. It’s a greek mythology book. 

“Read it out to me.”

“Tubbo…” his voice unsure and nervous. 

“Tommy,” his voice firm and determined. Leaving no space for an argument.

He sighs, already opening the first few pages of the book, “Fine.”

Eventually, they dozed off on their couch. Dreaming of a world filled with heroes, gods, and all that stuff alike. All while being in their own world filled with villains, demons, and all that stuff alike. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg i forgot to say thank you guys for 1k kudos in the last chapter!! Honestly never thought i would get here (esp the fact this is my first multi chapter fic) but it makes me so glad that so many of u like my fic ajsdka so truly thank you <33
> 
> Also idk why but i’ve been struggling writing this chapter so it really took a while to upload this. But dw wine aunt puffy, awesamdad, and big bro ranboo are gonna be here soon!! (Probs by the next chapter and onward they’ll finally make an appearance :] So im v excited


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this took a while but once again excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes as i am once again writing this at the crack of 1 am. 
> 
> So enjoy!!

“-an’t believe you-”

“-you’re blaming it on me, you bit-” 

They’ve been screaming at each other for quite a while now. Broken items littered the floor, shattered mugs glinting in the corners of their living room, and blankets and pillows were strewn about. They’ve been arguing about...something. Honestly, they forgot what even started this but they both knew that the other wouldn’t back down. Not when there’s actual malice behind their dull broken eyes. 

“-don’t call me a bitch! I’m just trying to help-”

“-Y’know what, fuck this.” 

Tommy throws his hands up in a mock surrender, already reaching for the doorknob as he flips off Tubbo without looking back. 

With a loud  _ SLAM  _ from the door, Tommy’s out in the cold, not realizing the stolen bee sweater that’s under his brown coat. His footsteps make a crunching noise under the snow as he goes through the cacophony of spruce trees, doing his best to block out the quiet sobs coming from their house. 

He lets out a groan, a puff of white clouding his vision just for a moment. Ender, he hates this. 

Ever since his da- _ Phil _ visited them, things have gotten — well to put it in nice terms — shit. He’s aware that he’s been more of an ass than usual, snapping at Tubbo throughout the day and being a bitch for every small thing but...he can’t help it. Phil’s words continue to echo and mix in with another green bastard to the point he couldn’t sleep no matter how much they try. Now, he doesn’t expect Tubbo to just take his shit since he’s very capable of shoving Tommy’s shit back at him, but Tubbo’s always a patient person, open arms and a kind smile to top it off...guess even Tommy fucked that up. 

He rubs his hands on his face, groaning once more. All he wanted was for them to be left alone, to finally be able to just be kids and do stupid shit together, but the anger (even if it’s not directed at each other) has been swirling in with the built up tension that has gotten too much for them. Till it blew up on their faces. 

_ “Me or the discs.”  _

_ “I don’t expect you to understand. You’re still a child.”  _

_ “Our story isn’t over yet, Tommy.”  _

_ “It’s for your own good, Tommy...now, throw all your stuff in the hole.”  _

He punches the nearest tree with all the might he has. He does it again; and again and again and again till he can feel a warm red liquid dripping down from his knuckles. The wooden splinters stings and pricks at his swollen red hands but he doesn’t care. All he does is cause pain, so why not make himself suffer with more pain.

He doesn’t even realize the snot and tears dripping down his face when he has to take a big deep breath that comes out as a hiccup. Why is it so hard to breathe? 

Maybe, he should find a moth...and a bee for Tubbo. It might make him happy...yeah, that’s a nice thought. 

So, he traverses through the forest, looking for a moth and a bee with so far little to no success. He sighs. Honestly, he’s not surprised with the outcome considering the fact, no insect or animal would think to- 

“Fuck!” He yelps, landing his face on the cold fucking white floor.  _ Ender, that fucking hurt _ , Tommy sat and carefully rubbed his face, staring pathetically at the dumb face that the snow formed beside him. How stupid he fucking is for not seeing a lump of something... _ someone _ in the way. What the-

The lump that he tripped on is practically  _ shivering _ in a cloak of a royal blue cloth, a crown that has landed near them is bejeweled with emeralds and rubies on it, purple particles seeming to surround the figure, but the most notable feature is the clashing black and white complexion all throughout. 

“...Ranboo?”

He almost slips as he tries to get to the enderman hybrid. His knees thudded harshly on the snowy ground beside Ranboo as he turned him around. Visible tremors as Ranboo claws at his cloak, breathing heavily as if he couldn’t get enough air while his eyes are completely shut. Fuck, he’s not sure what to fucking do. He doesn’t have a regen pot on him. Would that even work? Usually, Tubbo- holy shit Tubbo!

If anyone knew anything on how to heal someone, it’d be Tubbo. He didn’t get his “supposed” doctorate for nothing.  ~~ Not when Wilbur counted on Tubbo to heal their troops in the war.  ~~

With that, he gathers all his strength to haul the enderman hybrid on his shoulder. Though the only flaw with this is that he still has to drag Ranboo with his long legs practically dug into the snow. Prime, why the fuck is he so tall?!

He groans again. Ender, all he wants is a moth  _ not _ a fucking enderman hybrid. 

It took a while, but he can finally see the snowy bay where their house sat. A bright light was visibly coming off from their window. Fuck, he didn’t even realize the sun setting as everything got darker and darker. He was about to open the door when he suddenly got hit with a wave of anxiousness and rage coming from the house. He audibly gulps, knowing Tubbo, he should expect a knife at his throat for staying out so late and for the whole stupid fight. Maybe he shou- Ok, no. Tommy is a big man, ok? If not for himself, then he should at least do it for Ranboo. 

With a deep breath, he turns the doorknob and is immediately greeted with a clean house as well as a raging fire of irritation in Tubbo’s eye. He flinches at the harsh glare directed at him that he almost dropped Ranboo. But with that, Tubbo’s attention landed on the tall teenager that’s literally hanging unto him. The ire glinting in Tubbo’s eyes instantly washes away, replaced with worry. 

His best friend runs up to him, and with a nod that they both understood: Tubbo lifts Ranboo’s legs while Tommy is holding the enderman by the armpits as they carry him towards their couch. Funnily enough, Ranboo is once again too tall as his legs are stuck out from one end. But it’ll do for now. 

“What happened to him?”

He sighs, “Don’t know. Just found him while I was walking out.” Tommy runs his hand through his hair, exhaustion etched in his bones. Ender, all he wants is to sleep under all the blankets and pillows they have. 

Tubbo lets out a hum from beside him. Though Tommy doesn’t expect his hand to be  _ wrenched _ from him, flinching as Tubbo brought it close to his face. Fuck, his hands are still bleeding and swollen. He tries tugs at his hand but Tubbo had the fucking  _ audacity _ to grip his wrist tighter that he’s sure it would cut off the circulation. 

He winces, expecting a scolding and a disappointed glare directed at him, instead Tubbo tugs at him and leads them to Tubbo’s desk; promptly pushing Tommy on the chair a bit roughly while Tubbo looks for  _ something _ . 

“Tubbo?”

His best friend just continues to ignore him, going through all the chests and drawers till he finally brings out a familiar metal box. Ah, of course. 

Tubbo opens the latches and he instantly gets a potent whiff of herbs and chemicals. The insides of the box looks fuller compared to last time. Huh. Guess, he restocked the shit in there then. 

With that, Tommy felt a damp cold cloth rubbing at his knuckles that were almost scabbing, only splashing a bit of potion that helped with the possible infection he got. With all that done, Tubbo rubs a yellow clear sticky liquid (honey once again) on his swollen hands. His chest tightens.

... _ Why is he doing this? _

Tommy is aware of how familiar this whole scene is. He wonders if Tubbo will ever get sick of him. 

“Shouldn’t you be doing this to Ranboo?” 

For a while Tubbo didn't respond, focused on his task till he finally said, “Just trust me, ok?”

Of course he does. That shouldn’t even be a question when they both knew how much Tommy would willingly lay his life for Tubbo as they both knew Tubbo would do the same. For now, Tommy stays quiet.

A comforting silence blankets them. 

\----

Ranboo wakes up a few days later. 

He’s finally sitting upright on their couch with a slight grimace on his face. Tubbo places a steaming mug of hot chocolate in front of Ranboo while he dumps himself on the vacant spot on the couch while Tommy is sat on another chair. At least, Ranboo isn’t constantly shivering now that he’s under one of their heavy blankets and a new purple sweater that Tubbo made while also treating whatever injury the hybrid has. 

Ranboo blows on his drink and takes a sip of it, his eyes lighting with delight as he immediately chugs it and lets out a satisfied sigh upon finishing it. Tubbo just beams at him. The enderman hybrid nervously smiles back. 

“So,” Tommy starts out slowly, “Ranboo, what happened?” 

Heterochromic eyes instantly snapped to him. “Well, uh, i’m actually not sure.” Nervous tapping from the ceramic mug joined the tense air. 

Tommy just leans back in his chair, crossing his arm as he lets out a hum. 

Tubbo’s eyes darted between the two, placing a gentle hand on Ranboo’s arm. “But what are you doing so far out, big man?”

The enderman hybrid jolted at the sudden touch, looking more nervous than ever. “Oh, well I was supposed to be looking for a woodland mansion but I think I overshot it when I was going through the nether...”

“So where do you live now?”

“Uh...somewhere...in a shack! On the side of a snowy mountain,” Ranboo exclaimed, gesturing wildly with his free hand. 

Tubbo raises an eyebrow, “That doesn’t sound comfortable.”

Ranboo waves him off. “Oh, it’s fine. Actually Tech-” Immediately slamming his hand to his mouth, guilt etched on his face. 

The air in the room thickens. Nervous energy that Ranboo is practically sweating as Tubbo tenses, probably trying to mentally prepare himself for the possible fighting and shouting as they both glanced cautiously towards Tommy. But to their utmost surprise, Tommy just sighs. 

He rests his cheek on his bandaged knuckles, looking more bored than anything as he scoffs, “Should’ve known. Is Techno with you?”

Both Ranboo and Tubbo were still stunned with how  _ calm _ Tommy seems to be. Hah. At least, Ranboo managed to pull himself out of his stupor, warily responding, “He... didn't want to come.”

Tommy just hums again. 

“So,” Tubbo starts, pulling back their attention to him, “You’ve been staying with him?”

“Well, right after y'know L'manburg blew up, uh, Phil offered me a place to stay and…” Ranboo breaths, staring at the empty cup in his hand, “Everything else is history, I guess.”

Honestly, everyone likes to think that Tommy is an idiot, but he’s smart enough to see the tender and warm gaze that Ranboo has in his eyes at the mere mention of Phil and Techno. He knows those gazes. It was the very same one that he had when...when they were still a family.

“I see.” 

The silence that flooded the room was instantly disrupted when Tommy slammed both his hands down on the armchair. 

“Y'know Ranboo if you want my advice; leave Phil and Techno,” he spat bitterly. “ ‘Cause honestly, Phil didn't even  _ blink _ an eye on abandoning me for Techno. Don't think you’re any different.”

“Phil...Phil wouldn't do that,” he murmured so quietly, his ears and legs tucking in on itself as if he’s trying to appear as small as possible. 

Tommy’s chest for some reason tightens, yet he pushes it aside ~~ like everything else in his life ~~ . “Ranboo. That man used to be my father so I know...I  _ know _ .”

He unconsciously clenches his fists. Rage simmered at the very top of Tommy. Oh, does he want to lash out, to just destroy everything in this house and burn it. But he kept it down. At least, for Tubbo’s sake. Ender, he  _ tries _ . 

“Y’know,” Ranboo nervously spoke up, fiddling with the sleeves of his sweater, “Techno would  _ most likely _ kill me for saying this but,” he takes in a deep breath, “he misses you.”

Tommy couldn’t help but snort. C’mon, Techno? Missing  _ Tommy _ ?

But Ranboo seems adamant as he raises his voice a bit, a determined glint in his eyes, “He doesn’t want to admit it, but he  _ does  _ miss you. It’s obvious”

What a joke. “Whatever,” trying to come off as blankly as possibly but he can hear the seething anger in his tone. He stands up from his chair, moving swiftly to get in his bedroom and completely shutting the door once he’s in. 

He’s finally encased in darkness. He slid down on the door, completely drained. Guess, the conversation taking more of a toll on him than he initially thought. If he shuts his eyes and completely leans back, he can practically hear the muffled voices saying- 

“-hat was a mess,” Tubbo said in a light tone, obviously trying to lift the mood in the air but seeming to fail as there was no response from Ranboo. Tubbo sighs, “If you ever need a place to stay ours is open.”

“Why.” Disbelief in his voice. 

“I’d like to think I have a forgiving nature.” That’s very much true considering how much Tommy fucks up. “And Tommy is trying to move on...we’ve built a sanctuary here so I wouldn't mind having a close friend back.” 

Huh. Based on the stunned silence, guess both him and Ranboo weren’t expecting that admission. It’s so  _ vulnerable _ that Tommy just wants to stomp back in the room and simultaneously deck and hug Tubbo. He sighs, he hopes Ranboo will do that for him. 

“Thank you? Uh, I like your hair?” A sentence that Ranboo seems to blurt out as Tubbo just laughs and wheezes. Ranboo seems to join in as well with his chuckles. 

If Tommy tries hard enough, he can sleep just like this.

\----

“-tie the lead!” 

“I’m trying!” 

Tommy is currently holding down a white fox as it kept on evading and running from them. Ranboo, on the other hand, was carefully but quickly trying to get the lead on the sneaky animal without hurting it. The enderman hybrid questions why he’s even doing this in the first place. He was only supposed to get totems and immediately go back to his new home. But of course, Tommy and Tubbo sidetracked him. He internally sighs, only them. 

After a few more minutes spent struggling and keeping the goddamn fox to be still enough to tie the lead around the thing, they finally have now acquired a white fox. Despite the fresh scratches on their faces and arms, their whole body practically covered in snow, and their breathless panting, they turn to each other with wide grins and high-fived as Tommy lets out a loud “woo!” and pumps the free hand that’s not holding the lead in the air. 

Ranboo chuckles at Tommy’s antics. He was scared, wary of Tommy due to the whole debacle that went down yesterday. He expected the classic TommyInnit fashion where he would angrily stomp to Ranboo, cuss at him then immediately throw him into the snow while Tubbo was still sound asleep. But to his surprise, all 3 of them had a lovely breakfast courtesy of Tubbo’s cooking. Then — to more of his surprise — Tommy went up to him, whispering that he needed to get a bee for Tubbo. 

_ “A bee? In this weather?” _

_ “Well, what else does Tubbo like then?” _

_ “Definitely a fox.” _

_ “...Not what I was expecting but alright.”  _

So now, here they are. Tommy happily whistling a distinct tune (wait. Is that animal crossing?) while he leads the white fox back to Snowchester. Still, that begs the question why Tommy is getting a gift for Tubbo.

“So, is there a reason why you’re getting him a gift?” He blurts out before he could chicken out. 

Tommy stops whistling but he continues on his trek with a thoughtful expression. He then shrugs, “Eh, Tubbo got absolutely pissed at me so I thought y’know why not.” 

Huh. Well, then. 

Another surprise to him was instead of letting an awkward silence fill between them, Tommy talked. And ender, did he talk. He would say outrageous things, ask him awful questions for starting small talk and he verbally tells Tommy that it’s  _ absolutely horrible _ with a chuckle. Maybe, because Tommy himself couldn’t handle the awkwardness but the conversation between them is lighthearted. A banter here, and a few laughs there, and Ranboo is genuinely having a nice time with Tommy. It’s been a while since they’ve spoken since...doomsday. 

_ ‘You caused that,’  _ the same haunting voice whispered at the back of his head, but he deliberately shoves it all down. Hopefully to the part of his brain where it caused his amnesia.

He quickly snaps himself back to reality as he sees the small cottage house with a dock and a tower right beside it. He could see Tubbo’s small hunched form as he works on the potato farm he has. His bee-loving friend looks up and waves at them. 

And upon presenting the white fox to Tubbo, his eyes immediately lights up, hugging the white furball as he giggles when the fox licked Tubbo’s face; though he clearly wasn’t bothered by it as he practically buries his face into the white fur. Honestly, Ranboo isn’t sure if he should be worried or just leave Tubbo with his fox. 

But before he could “sneakily'' get away, Tubbo stands up and immediately _ tackles _ both Tommy and Ranboo to the snowy ground. Both of them letting out an “oof!” upon impact at the sudden weight of their best friend as he practically  _ squeezes _ them. 

“Thank you,” Tubbo’s muffled voice is almost a whisper but they clearly hear it. 

Maybe, getting tackled by your shorter best friend isn’t so bad. 

Tommy scoffs but he can clearly see a smile. “Whatever, big T. Now get off, you’re heavy” He whines, patting the green jacket so he could let them up.

Tubbo soon relents, helping them get up while Tubbo’s new fox just simply lays down, munching on a potato. 

“Well, are you gonna name them?” Tommy questions. 

Tubbo raises a finger to rest on his chin, contemplating for a while till he proudly chirps out, “Ghost Squeeks!”

Tommy glances towards Ranboo, leans and mutters under his breath, “Ghost Squeeks?” 

“Don’t question it,” he whispers back as they watched Tubbo play with his new fox in the snow. He smiles. 

“Well, gents,” Tommy claps bringing both their attention to him, “I have to do some of my own chores before Tubzo here glares me to death.”

“Oi!” 

Before Tommy could face Tubbo’s “wrath,” he runs inside the cottage house and promptly slams the door. 

Ranboo and Tubbo turn to stare at each other, completely breaking their blank stares by laughing and wheezing. Warmth dances around them. 

They soon, both settle down on the snowy ground, not minding much of the chilly weather as they simply just watched Ghost Squeeks jump around the half eaten potato. 

_ This is nice _ , Ranboo muses as he leans back, staring at the new land called Snowchester where Tommy and Tubbo genuinely seem more free and happy here compared to when L’manburg still existed. He’s glad. But then again, he’s never seen Tubbo ever get mad, even when his country literally blew up right in front of his face. Sure, he’s seen the former president get sad, scared, and disgusted...but never mad. Huh.

“Now that i think about it. I’ve never seen you get mad,” he wonders out loud. 

Tubbo turns to look at him with a pinched expression, “Really?”

“I mean yeah, you do tend to pick fights with people but that’s not you exactly being...mad.” 

A look of contemplation once again graces Tubbo’s face as he turns back to watch his pet fox, “Well...there was this time after the whole community house got blown up; Quackity wanted to execute you.”

“Wait,  _ what _ -”

“Of course, I said no,” Tubbo immediately cuts him off, “But...it infuriated me.”

“Why?” Genuine confusion laced his voice. He truly doesn’t get it. He was literally outed as a traitor and...Tubbo got mad at Quackity because...?

But Tubbo continued to stay silent till Ghost Squeeks went up to him and nudged their wet nose at his palm. “...Do you know how I got these burn marks?”

“Uh, not really?” He brings out the _ proper _ copy of his memory book, flipping through the pages. “I don’t think it’s mentioned in my memory book.”

Tubbo just hums, petting the soft fur of his pet fox. “...When Jschlatt was still the president of L’manburg, he...made me decorate for my own execution. Found out I was a spy for Wilbur and Tommy, so he boxed me in and forced Techno to blow me up with fireworks on the day of the festival.” 

Ranboo knows as an enderman hybrid, direct eye contact made him lash out, but at this moment he couldn’t help but stare at Tubbo’s accepting dull blue eyes, a sadness hidden inside there. 

“So when Quackity _demanded_ to execute you, I...I told him if he were to lay a _finger_ on you, it would be treason. Not only are you my close friend but it fucking sucks that everyone seems to forget what happened,” a frigid laugh bubbles out of Tubbo as he clutches on the left side of his face, “I have these huge burns on my whole left side and _yet_ people forget. That was the most humiliating and painful thing, that moment literally _burnt_ and _carved_ into my body...I don’t want you to experience that.” Tubbo’s voice trembled and wavered at the end 

“I- what- why would you do that?” He couldn’t help but stammer in disbelief. Just  _ why _ ? Even after everything he’s done, why?

“Because you’re my friend,” Tubbo said as simple as that, as if Ranboo just asked what color the sky is and he answered with blue. Tubbo snorts, “Frankly speaking, I would shank anyone and burn their house down if something happened to you, any of you guys.”

Something warm blossomed in his chest, tightening his throat, he could already feel the searing burns as tears almost welled up. Huh. “...Thank you, Tubbo.”

Tubbo just rubs the soft ears of Ghost Squeeks and smiles, “Anytime, memory boy.” 

\---

Ranboo had to leave the very next day, saying that he probably has already extended his stay here but Tubbo vehemently denies it all. The hybrid grabs his royal blue cloak anyway, putting his netherite armor on top of his purpled sweater and brings all his valuables with him. He’s about to reach for the doorknob, ready to go when he stops and turns to them, with a thoughtful expression.

“Can...can I tell other people where you guys are?”

Tommy and Tubbo glanced at each other. A silent conversation passes between them in a simple tilt of a head and a quirked brow. They turn back to Ranboo. 

Tubbo smiles, “I’d love to see Sam again.” 

“And probably anyone else who actually cares about us,” Tommy pipes in with a shrug. 

Ranboo sighs; guess he has to go through all the server members who won’t kill them on sight, yet he still beams back at them, “I'll try my best.”

With a two finger-salute, he’s off to trek through the Dream SMP.

\---

Weeks passed by, with nothing much out of the ordinary. 

Tubbo’s working once again on his potato farm when he hears Tommy’s excited shouts. He looks up and is immediately greeted with Tommy’s maroon sweater and brown coat and Ranboo’s fluffed blue cloak emerging from the spruce trees. Though what he didn’t expect is a familiar tall creeper hybrid and a fluffy but deadly sheep pirate right beside his best friends. He drops his iron hoe, not caring for the stepped-crops as he runs up to them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *chants* bench trio bench trio bench trio!!
> 
> Also i did not expect this chapter to end up being so long but i hope ya'll still enjoyed it anyway!! 
> 
> There's only a few more chapters left till this boi *slaps* officially ends so expect more fluff and angst and finally found family!! :]


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry once again that this took a while!! School's been a bitch and i wanted to catch up on some of the streams. 
> 
> Also i was writing this at 2 am so excuse any wrong spelling/grammar. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!!

Shrieks and laughter filled the snowy bay. 

Tommy is taking cover behind a tree, trying to avoid the snowballs directed at him as he hears the continuous soft thuds of it on the front of the bark. His whole body and clothes are practically covered in snow and yet those bastards still target him. 

“Tommy! C’mon it’s just snow, there’s nothing to be afraid of!” He hears Tubbo’s voice calling out to him, trying to sound reassuring but Tommy knows that Tubbo is practically grinning.

“Says you, dickhead!” 

Ender, sometimes he honestly hates his best friend.  That’s not true . They were initially a team when this whole snowball fight took place, but Tubbo — that _ traitor _ _ — _ turned on him last minute ‘cause why the fuck not and promptly chased him to where he is now. 

“Hey, Tommy,” a calm yet booming voice that could only belong to Sam calls out, “If you admit that i’m the _ awesomest _ dude ever, I’ll join you and make you a snowball cannon!” 

...A snowball cannon? 

He hears various exaggerated gasps coming from the other side. “Sam! How could you betray us like this!?” Captain Puffy dramatically responds with all the flare that he doesn’t even need to see to know that she’s already shedding a fake tear. 

Honestly, Tommy’s not sure how to feel about their new visitors. Of course, this is only the 2nd time they’ve visited Snowchester. But they did make it clear that they’ll pop in from time to time. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it but...he can’t help but still be on edge ever since Phil visited.

But  _ a snowball cannon _ ?

Tommy wasn’t the right hand man, leader of a revolution, and vice president of a nation for nothing, so of course he responds, “Sam, if you help me right now, I will _forever_ refer to you as the awesomest dude and _biggest man_ to ever exist!”

He hears a loud whoop and instantly the shrieks of Tubbo, Ranboo, and Puffy fill the air as they get  _ obliterated _ with whatever Sam managed to whip out. He’s finally able to turn around without getting pelted with snow and gleefully watches as Sam chases out the other team. 

He couldn’t help but wheeze at the scene. Sam turns to him with a genuine smile and chuckles as he pockets whatever device he had on him. 

“Nice work, Sam!” He runs up to him, trying to shake off all of the snow clinging to him. 

“If you think that’s impressive, wait till I actually make the snowball cannon,” Sam said with an obvious wide grin despite the creeper mask hiding 60% of his face. 

He still isn’t sure about Puffy and Sam, considering they might be another “responsible adult” that try to seem like they give a shit when they actually don’t. But for now, he has a snowball fight to win. 

\----

Laughter echoed through the aviary.

Tubbo’s nimble fingers twisted and knotted through the stems of flowers, and with a click of his tongue, he presents them with a flower crown of daisies. He’s been trying to teach them how to make flower crowns for the past hour now. Sam, somehow with his large claw-ish hands, easily got the hang of it as he proudly placed his dandelion flower crown on top of his own golden crown, immediately continuing making more. 

Captain Puffy, along with Ranboo, struggled at first; trying to copy the intricate weaves that Tubbo showed them and after a first few failed attempts, they finally had their own flower crowns. Puffy swapped her pirate hat with a bright poppy flower crown while Ranboo simply exchanged his allium flower crown with Tubbo’s daisies. 

On Tommy’s end, there’s so far with little to no succes as to why the cornflowers won’t just  _ fucking stop breaking and falling apart _ . He lets out a groan and throws his hands in mock defeat, flopping down on the warm ground as he covers his face with his hands. 

“You ok there, bud?” Sam gently asked, an obvious snicker was there that Tommy would absolutely  _ not  _ get fooled by. 

So the blonde just continued to stay silent, not even attempting to open his eyes, now fueled on pure spite. 

A distinct deep chuckle that belonged to Ranboo pipes in, “Sam, mans here had a  _ breakdown  _ over not making a flower crown and you just asked if he’s  _ ok _ ?”

“Oi!” Tommy spluttered, setting himself back up to glare at the enderman hybrid. 

Ranboo had the  _ audacity _ to laugh at him. “Hey, I, too, would also be having a breakdown if I couldn’t make a flower crown.” 

Oh this bitch. 

“Tubbo! You can’t let him get away with this  _ slander, _ ” he whined, looking at his best friend for support. 

Tubbo simply raised his eyebrow. “Don’t involve me in this. I’m not the one that can’t make a flower crown.”

Oh it’s fucking on now, bitch. 

Tommy bellows out a war cry that definitely did not sound more like Ghost Squeeks sneezing as he tried tackling Tubbo, but instead got a face full of grass. He spits out the leaves that got in his mouth as his bastard of a friend right above him, pulling multiple stupid faces on him like the absolute child that he is. 

He immediately stands up, not minding the crushed flowers, dirt, and grass that stuck to his clothes as he lets out another battle cry. Tubbo lets out a squeak, instantly trying to get away from his blonde best friend, concerned at first for his fallen flower crown but upon seeing Tommy’s pissed off look, he just renewed his effort to outrun the taller one. 

Sam, Puffy, and Ranboo seem to be having the time of their lives, laughing and wheezing in the background as they watch Tommy chase Tubbo around the aviary, mindful of every bee, flower, and plant they were running through while also exchanging their own banter. 

“I can make a flower crown for you!”

“Not a chance, bitch boy!”

“C’mon, Tommy! It’s easy to do anyway!”

“You’re doing this on purpose now, you bitch!”

Tubbo just laughed back at him as he once again evaded Tommy. 

It was chaotic. 

After running around the aviary a couple of times. The two boys went back to their place in the center and flopped down, absolutely sweaty and tired as they tried to take in the air they’ve lost from running around. 

“You boys done?” Puffy’s voice full of mirth yet concern. 

Tommy had enough energy to raise a thumb in the air, and instantly got hit with a towel. Somehow, Puffy always had these on hand with her. He’s thankful for these small mercies as he sits up and tries to completely wipe down all the disgusting sweat and dirt that’s covering him. Ok, he’s definitely gonna take a shower after this. 

Suddenly, he felt a light weight on top of his head. He reaches up and feels the soft texture of petals. What the- 

“Thought you might want your own flower crown,” Puffy coolly says with a shrug, as she sits right beside him and turns to watch Tubbo, Sam, and Ranboo excitedly shout at each other about _ some shit. _

“...I don’t want your pity.” 

Puffy sighs, “Tommy, if I wanted to pity you, I would've called you pretty.”

He narrows his eyes at her. “I’ll have you know, I'm the  _ biggest man _ here.”

She quirks an eyebrow at him but he can clearly see her mouth twitching, “I thought Sam’s the biggest man?”

“He’s the  _ 2nd _ biggest man and then there’s me, obviously,” he smugly declares. 

Puffy, instead of scowling or even telling him off with an annoyed huff, just laughs at his antics. Huh. 

“Glad, you’re still you, Tommy,” she said, wiping a tear off from probably all the laughing she did. He tries to not visibly jerk away as she pats his shoulder, standing up and reaches out a hand for him. 

He hesitates for a moment. But hearing the sincerity of her voice, he grabs it. With that, they join the ever expanding warmth that Tommy didn’t even realize. 

\----

The crickets played a quiet song in the background as Sam went up the tower. In his hand is a jar that had tiny holes on the lid for the moth inside to have fresh air as it lays on the sticks and leaves he decorated inside of it. 

It’s supposed to be a gift for Tommy. And according to Tubbo, Tommy  _ adores _ animals, even insects that are annoying to most people; but the main thing he always wanted is a moth. Honestly, Sam has a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that this loud gremlin has a soft spot for creatures, especially insects. But, what does he know? 

Now, Sam may know little but he does know that despite the blonde’s excited and pompous exterior, he can’t help but notice the physical and mental scars, the flinches every time he accidentally brushes up on the teen, the blank look as if he’s stuck in another time, and the wary expression he constantly has as if Sam, Puffy, or Ranboo would backstab them at any moment. 

He honestly can’t blame the teen. Not when Sam could _ still  _ visibly remember Tommy’s ratty clothes and broken, defeated look that no child should have as he was exiled from L’manburg, his home. Tommy never took up his offer of staying in his home despite numerous times he’s offered it to the teen. He sighs, maybe he should’ve tried harder. He _ will  _ try harder. 

Finally, reaching the top, he instantly gets a whiplash of the cold, _ cold  _ breeze caressing his face and hair. He almost regrets leaving the warm house where Tubbo, Ranboo, and Puffy were currently in as they play some sort of card game that Puffy played before on her sea adventures. But, he finally sees Tommy. 

His back is turned from Sam, bundled up in his usual brown jacket that has the old L’manburg flag patched on the side of it, a nicely patterned quilt covering his legs, and in his hand, clutching tightly is a red cloth. He’s quietly sitting down on the spruce floor, watching the bright stars twinkle above. 

He takes in a deep breath, trying to calm the heat that’s constantly boiling inside him. “Hey, Tommy.” 

Tommy jumps in place, letting out a series of curses that would make Bad run away. He turns in place and already has a sword pointed but slightly lowers it down upon seeing Sam. He doesn’t know why his chest hurts upon seeing the guarded and vicious look Tommy has, but nevertheless he smiles and waves.

Tommy’s facial expression pinches in confusion. “Sam? What are you doing here?” 

Sam — of course, as the awesomest dude ever — simply just shows the jar to Tommy. The confusion on his face is instantly wiped off and is replaced with glee as he gasps, “Is that a fucking _ moth _ ?!”

He can’t help but chuckle as he watches the teen carefully grabbing the jar and practically cooing at it. “Yup. thought you might like a gift.” 

“ _ Like _ it? Like it?! Sam, I love it!” The teen is practically vibrating at this point as his sole attention is on the moth that’s still sound asleep. 

Tommy lets out a loud cough, finally noticing that Sam is still there, pointedly watching the whole thing. The blonde tries to fix his composure, trying his best to act nonchalantly as he says, “Uh, thank you. Really. This is amazing.” 

“Anytime, Tommy,” He says as he leans at the wall. Trying his best to bite back the happy hiss that’s rumbling through his chest as Tommy continues to dote on the sleeping moth. 

Crickets once again filled the silent night. He sighs, maybe it’s time to hit the hay. He turns and is about to reach for the stairs when he feels a tug on his sleeve. He turns once more, and it’s Tommy, red in the face as he looks nervous and embarrassed…? 

“Y’know, um, you can chill with me for a while if you want.” 

Sam’s mind immediately went blank. Wait. Maybe he heard it wrong. C’mon, Tommy wants him to stay? Here? With him? Just because he gave a gift? Tubbo did warn him that it will take a while for Tommy to warm up to someone especially when you’re an “adult figure” as he eloquently said. So maybe-

He faintly hears a scoff, “It’s fine, y’know. Nevermind. Clearly you’re busy and shit so you-” 

He instantly snaps back to reality, as he frantically waves his arms to stop Tommy from retreating. “No. No. It’s fine. Honestly, I don’t mind chilling here with you.” 

Tommy pauses for a moment and lets out a small smile as he motions for Sam to follow him. He leads them back to where he initially sat with the blanket spread on the floor. 

Though, he does see the red cloth that Tommy was holding earlier lying a bit far off from the area. Maybe Tommy dropped it while reaching for Sam. He grabs it anyway. Huh. The cloth is made out of silk, he rubs his thumb across the smooth texture of it. He wonders where Tommy could’ve gotten this. 

“This yours?” He raises the cloth for Tommy to see. 

Right away, he snatches it and roughly shoves it in his jacket. For a moment, Tommy doesn’t say anything as he goes back to what he was doing and just watches the stars shine through the night sky. 

Well then. 

He sits right beside Tommy, taking off his gas mask as they let the crickets and soft howl of the breeze wash through the air. No words were exchanged between them. Though, instead of expected awkwardness, warmth seeped in that Sam knew isn’t coming from the gunpowder sitting right next to his heart. This is nice. 

He feels a small thump on his shoulder. He turns and sees a golden mop of hair lightly laying on his shoulder. Why does Sam have the sudden urge to cry?

Tommy just lets out a hum, “I’ll name the moth, Clementine.” 

“Good name,” he chokingly lets out. 

With that, no more words exchanged between them as Tommy practically slept through the night, using his shoulder as a pillow. Yet, Sam didn’t mind. He carries a sleeping Tommy on his arms, not bothering to hide the purr rumbling along with the gunpowder in him, as he reaches the cottage house where he knows will be his 2nd home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is honestly to battle out whatever the fuck is currently happening in the canon (except for the Ranboo and Tubbo marriage, honestly i have like a very rough outline written something about that cuz that whole hotel business rivalry (along with the romeo and juliet but homies vibe they got going on) is a good set up for a kick ass sit com situation. So if you'd like to read about that let me know!!) 
> 
> ALSO feel free to slide into my dm's or sumth cuz honestly i need to rant more about dsmp cuz my irl's aren't into it, so go follow my:  
> Tumblr: @terrible-ass-always  
> Twitter: @likeadabee
> 
> Honestly, if you want to see memes and in depth character analysis go to my tumblr but if u want some art stuff, i retwt a lot of those in twitter cuz the artists in this community is v pog.


	9. Chapter 9

Sam usually never received gifts. 

He would always be the one giving out materials, weapons, and armor to anyone on the server if they ever needed it. He always did it with absolutely no hesitation. He doesn't mind, honestly, so imagine his surprise on his next visit to Snowchester, he received a gift. From Tommy.

Sam raises the diamond sword and it glints brightly in the sun. The craftsmanship is there, a standard strong sword but the enchantments — well to put it nicely — are shit. (He somehow hears a distinct voice in his head instantly spouting,  _ ‘Language!’ _ )

“So,” Tommy drawls, wincing at his cracked voice as he tries to hide his blatant nervousness, “what do you think?”

Sam couldn’t help but blink at the teen. Ever since he gave the pet moth to Tommy, he’s been more...open. He still keeps his weapon on him at all times, even sleeps with it; he still has the wary glint in his eyes as he always kept Tubbo in his sight, but based on how Tommy’s relaxed and loose posture as each visit passes, he’s slowly putting his walls down. Sam couldn’t help but smile. “Oh Tommy...I love it.”

Surprise lit up in Tommy’s eyes. “Wait really?”

Sam drags his thumb across the blade, inspecting the glowing gradience. “It doesn't have the best enchantments, but you made it. So that's what matters.” 

Tommy huffs, “Well you could've said it was shit.” He’s clearly pouting. As much as Tommy raves on being the big man that he is, he’s so much of a child that Sam can’t help but chuckle at it.

He hears a faint squawk over his laughter. “Are you mocking me, dickhead?! Just ‘cause I don't know how to enchant shit!” Tommy practically screeches. 

Somehow that made Sam double over his laughter, clutching at his stomach. Through his goggles, he can clearly see Tommy seething. 

“No. No,” he waves his hand, trying to catch his breath, “it's just...I thought since — y'know with all the wars and gears and weapons — I thought you would know how to enchant already?” 

In an instant, Tommy tenses, his face contorted with something akin to panic, as his glazed over with a distant memory. Crap. He probably shouldn’t have said that. 

“Y’know, uh, just don’t mind m-”

“Not really.”

Sam had to strain his ear to hear how quiet Tommy whispered. He tilts his head. 

Tommy swallows, hunching his shoulders trying to appear smaller despite his lanky stature. "Wil... _ he _ wasn't that great of a fighter so didn't bother, Techno and Phil never really thought of teaching shit to me, and I’d usually leave the enchanting stuff to Tubbo since he knows better. I mean, shit's embarrassing enough. So I'd just steal shit from people or force them to do it for me, y’know the usual.” He shrugs at the end, his voice going more and more softer. 

Now, Sam would usually associate Tommy with the sun, a raging fire that somehow turned the world around him with his bright and loud personality. This side of Tommy made him reminisce of sunsets, where the breeze would turn chilly as the sky got painted with constellations. He remembers fishing near the community house, with 7 warm voices washing over him. That memory feels like eons ago. His chest aches. 

He lets out a hum, trying to calm the heat spreading around him despite the cold weather. “Well if you want I can teach you.” 

Sapphire blue eyes stared at him with shock, “Really?” His voice is hesitant. 

Sam just shrugs. “Yeah. It could be fun.”

Tommy turns his head and stares at Tubbo and Ranboo playing with Ghost Squeeks in the snow. A look of contemplation passes through him as they watch Ranboo face plant on the snow with an excited winter fox jumping on him and Tubbo laughing at him. They bathe in the cold yet warm aura under Snowchester. Soon, a wide grin overtook his face as he turned back to Sam, “Whatever you say, Sammy. As long as I can get cool shit.”

Sam couldn’t help but snort, “of course, Tommy.” 

He reaches his hand out and ruffles Tommy’s hair. Instead of flinching, embarrassment flooded the teen’s cheeks. Grumbling up complaints as he put his hood up to hide his blossoming red face. And y’know what, Sam counts this as a win as he nudges Tommy and shouts, “Race you to it.” And promptly jogs to the enchanting room. 

Tommy’s stunned for a moment till he lets out a laugh, “Unfair! You have longer legs, bitch!” 

And chases after Sam.

Laughter and wheezes filled the snowy cold weather. Yet, Snowchester felt warmer somehow. 

\-----

Tubbo’s lounging on the couch with more blankets and pillows that he probably needed. Knitting away as Tommy’s voice filled the area as he regaled them a story of another mythology story. Something about Percy? Perseus? Tubbo’s not sure but this Percy fella is currently traversing through a maze fighting off this bull abomination. He hopes this story will have a happy ending. 

He sighs. He’s halfway through a third of the scarf he’s knitting for Sam. The very base of it is forest green but he does plan to add red and silver sparkles in there just so Sam could look like a walking christmas decoration. Even if Sam doesn’t put on the scarf, he’s gonna pull his most dangerous weapon: his  _ pout _ and  _ guilt tripping _ . 

He chuckles to himself. Yeah, Sam _ will _ have to wear it. But for now, he rests his needles and unfinished scarf on the floor as he takes a sip of his hot chocolate mug. 

Sam’s sitting on the floor with a steaming mug in his hands and a blanket on top of him, Puffy is on another chair — wearing her rainbow onesie and a baby blue scarf draped on her shoulders — quietly listening as they both seemed to be enthralled and amused by Tommy’s wild gestures and different tones for each character. 

In the corner of his eyes, he sees Ghost Squeeks lying near the fireplace, twitching its ear as Tommy would raise his voice while his pet moth lazed on a leafy bed of their clear enclosure. 

Ranboo, on the other hand, was resting his head against Tubbo’s shoulder. His eyes fluttered as he was so close to nodding off into sleep. His tail slowly swished around till it rested on Tubbo’s lap as his claws clutched unto his purple sweater and black and white scarf. 

He doesn’t blame Ranboo for being so tired; considering that they had a full blown snowball fight again but this time Sam finally finished his snowball cannon and completely obliterated Tubbo, Ranboo, and Puffy. They didn’t back down at first but with the amount of snow that  _ caked _ them, it almost gave them hypothermia. 

Which is what pushed him to make the scarves for everyone else. He and Tommy already had their bandanas so it’s only fitting if Tubbo knitted them scarves. 

He leans back as cautiously as possible, trying not to disturb his enderman best friend. Tubbo rarely had sleepovers with others considering him and Tommy always shared a room anyway. So this is nice. Better even. 

A warmth sprouted in his chest and continued to buzz all throughout. He never once regretted running away with Tommy and building their new lives somewhere far, far away. Sure, he had doubts, especially on their bad days where they would scream from a nightmare, flinch from every flashing lights, shake at every storm and thunder, and shout at each other over small things. But it’s gotten better. 

Well, he hopes it did. 

If it didn’t, he’ll make sure that it _ is _ better. He hasn’t been “secretly” working on another project for nothing; albeit, a more _ chemically dangerous _ project. 

_ Protect Tommy. Protect Tommy. Protect Tommy. _

Phil's first — and last — visit always left a bitter taste on his tonsil. A taste that made him fear for his new home, his new family. For now, Tommy doesn’t have to know. 

Tubbo’s aware that this kind of peace won’t last forever. C’mon, look at L’manburg for ender sake. He had to bite down a bitter laugh so as to not disturb Tommy or Ranboo. He shouldn’t have to think of those horrid thoughts. Not when he’s surrounded by the people he cares about, his  _ family _ .

Family. 

Ender, was that a heavy word. 

He and Sam already shared a love for redstone, pranks, and machines. It’s only natural for Tubbo to see him as his annoying yet helpful brother figure. Ranboo’s presence simply balanced Tubbo’s chaotic and wild tendencies. From there, mutual trust and comfort sparked, especially during his presidency where everyone either stepped on him or used him. Though, he didn’t expect Puffy to perfectly fit along with this assortment of people. 

He remembers the first time when Puffy just one day greeted him with a light headbutt, and simply moved on as if nothing happened. Tubbo perplexed, chased after the sheep hybrid and kept asking questions. 

_ “Oh, the headbutt thing? Sorry about that. I guess, it’s just my sheep part came out.” _

_ “Sheep part?” _

_ “Well, normally sheep hybrids would headbutt other people, usually their kind, to show affection or to challenge them in a fight.” _

_ “...Were you challenging me to a duel?” _

_ “Wait, what?” _

_ “Then I accept!” _

_ “Tubbo, no-” _

It took a while (Sam and Ranboo having to physically restrain him while Tommy kept the sharp objects away from Tubbo), but he finally understood that Puffy headbutting was not an invitation to a fight to the death but more of...fondness. 

But that didn’t stop him and Tommy in trying to headbutt Ranboo to fight. 

_ “C’mon, headbutt me! Headbutt us!”  _

_ “Tubbo, I’d rather not have a concussion.”  _

Tommy snickered,  _ “Scared I'll smash your brain in, Ranboob?”  _

_ “Firstly, don’t call me that. Second, why would I be scared of someone shorter than me?”  _

_ “Oh, you dickhead!”  _

Puffy just smiled at them, amusement and fondness danced in her eyes. Though, she does lean towards Sam. 

_ “How much are you willing to wager till Tommy tries to fist fight Ranboo?” _

_ “Hmm. I’ll give it 5 minutes.” _

_ “2 minutes.” _

_ “Bet.”  _

In the end, Tubbo saw Sam slid in a couple of his iron and gold blocks to Puffy, looking as smug as ever.

But that small thing evolved into them normally greeting each other with a light headbutt. Sometimes even as a way to comfort one another without saying anything. 

Tubbo probably likes those moments the most. Well, not really the _ most _ , but it’s up there. 

Ghostbur also visits from time to time. 

Usually just to annoy the living shit out of Tommy, following him around as he kept knocking things off from Tommy’s hand, throwing snowballs at him while he was chopping down trees, and trying to just scare him by randomly popping through walls. 

But if he wasn’t following Tommy, he’d usually follow Tubbo.

He remembers sitting under a spruce tree, right beside Ghosbur as they wait for the raining snow to stop so Ghostbur can go do his “ghost things.” 

_ “How’s the resurrection going?” _

Ghostbur hummed,  _ “it’s alright. Though Phil is running through every possible book he can find, but, alas, it’s a difficult journey to venture into.” _

_ “...So why aren’t you there to help him?” _

_ “Tommy, obviously.”  _

For some reason, that shocked Tubbo at the time. Seeing Ghostbur’s translucent face soften at the mention of Tommy. Well, Tommy just really has that effect on people. 

He’s just glad that Phil never bothered coming with Ghostbur. If he did, Tubbo can’t imagine the utter bloodshed that would stain the snow. 

Other than that, everything’s amazing. Tubbo picks up his needles once more, half-listening to Tommy’s tale. 

Tubbo can tell that Tommy is slowly accepting the peace of their new lives. He’s starting to see the Tommy where he would obnoxiously laugh at stupid things, where he would smile carelessly, where his bright sapphire eyes glint with reckless trust. He’s happy.  _ They’re _ happy.

_ KNOCK  _

_ KNOCK _

A heavy hand raps on the door. Everyone in the room tenses up, the freezing air seeping into their nerves. It couldn’t possibly be Ghostbur. He would’ve just phased through the walls, not caring if he scared any of the people inside. 

So who could...oh no. 

No. Nonono _ no _ . 

He hears Tommy’s leather bound book thud heavily on the floor, his hand visibly trembling. Ranboo in his tired state blinked back to reality, realizing the heavy dread stilling in the room as Sam and Puffy quietly grabbed their trident and sword respectively. Tubbo couldn’t help the sudden bile climbing up his throat, so he just tightly clasped unto Ranboo’s hand. Ranboo tightly squeezes back. 

Sam slowly got up, making a series of gestures basically saying, “Grab your weapons. Get behind Puffy. Stay low.”

His brain couldn’t register anything but his body clearly did as he suddenly felt the cold weight of a diamond sword that Ranboo or Puffy probably shoved at him. 

He feels another warm presence near him. It’s Tommy. Trying to look determined and fierce as ever, but Tubbo clearly sees the way his hand tremors along with his newly enchanted netherite sword he made with Sam. 

Sam stops momentarily on the door, his hand resting on the doorknob as everyone seems to be holding their breath with apprehension and fear.

Sam tightens his grip on his trident and, finally, twists the doorknob to reveal a looming figure. 

The figure has broad shoulders as their red cape almost touches the snow, layers upon layers of detailed blue clothing, there’s old and new scars decorating his face along with shiny pieces of gold jewelry that blinded Tubbo, and a long neatly pink braided hair resting on his shoulders.

  
It’s _ Technoblade.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope ya'll are doing well today and hope u enjoyed the chapter so far askds
> 
> I’m honestly sorry that i haven’t updated this fic in literal weeks but writer’s block’s been a bitch but dw!! I fully intend to finish this fic no matter what so lezgooo
> 
> Anyways go check out my new [fic.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29905779/chapters/73602192) it's been an idea i've been wanting to work for a while so it'd mean a lot to me if ya'll would read it as well!! 
> 
> Also feel free to follow/dm me on  
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> 
> I'm always up for more friends!! :D

**Author's Note:**

> If you like it leave a comment and/or a kudos :>
> 
> Also go follow or leave an ask on my tumblr: https://terrible-ass-always.tumblr.com/


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